85: Raising Conscious Children: A Journey of Healing

Mind Body Detox Podcast Episode 85 Raising Conscious Children: A Journey of Healing

Join Kara Lovehart, Mind-Body Psychic Medium and Executive Intuitive Business Coach, on this transformative episode of the Mind Body Detox Podcast as she interviews Sarah Johnson, a licensed therapist, shamanic healer, relationship intuitive, and author of Scared and Exhausted: How to Understand Your Child, Move Past Fear, and Parent with Ease.

In this episode, Sarah shares her inspiring journey from struggling with substance abuse, depression, and anxiety to becoming a beacon of healing for others. Together, Kara and Sarah explore the art of raising conscious children and how holistic parenting can create harmony in today’s fast-paced world.

Key topics include:

• How Sarah's experiences led her to embrace shamanic healing and art therapy.
• Insights into using creativity and intuition in parenting.
• Unique perspectives on parenting from a shamanic and counseling lens.
• Practical tips for parents and caregivers to raise emotionally aware and resilient children.
• The importance of self-discovery and healing for better relationships with children.

Sarah also offers a glimpse into her private practice and her book, which provides tools to help parents understand their children and navigate parenting challenges with ease. Whether you’re a parent, caregiver, or simply curious about holistic approaches to family dynamics, this episode offers actionable insights and inspiration.

Subscribe to the Mind Body Detox Podcast to explore mind-body healing, conscious living, and empowering conversations bridging science and spirituality.

🎧 Listen now and join the journey to raising a more conscious, connected generation!

About Sarah Johnson
Sarah Johnson is a therapist, shamanic healer, relationship intuitive,  and author who lives in Pennsylvania with her family.  She is the author of Scared and Exhausted: How to Understand Your Child, Move Past Fear, and Parent with Ease and founder of Sarah is a Healer, a virtual space for healing and education around animism, healing, and personal growth.  

Throughout her career as a licensed professional counselor, art therapist, and shamanic healer, Sarah has guided thousands of individuals through personal healing journeys.  She’s had the honor to work a variety of mental health settings with populations varying from young children to adults.   

Sarah began her journey after years of issues with substance abuse, anxiety, and depression.  These experiences pushed her into searching for healing.  In 2010 she graduated with her Master’s Degree in Art Therapy with a Specialization in Counseling.  She became licensed as a Professional Counselor and Art Therapist in 2013.  Sarah started her shamanic healing journey in 2021 with Selena Whittle at the Institute for Shamanic Healing.  Each step has opened new doors to exploration and healing.  

With her one on one healing sessions and teachings, Sarah helps people uncover the disharmony in their lives and heal their relationships. 

Connect with Sarah
Website: sarahisahealer.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sarahisahealer
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarahisahealer
Book: Amazon

Transcript

Raising Conscious Children with Sarah Johnson

Welcome to the Mind Body Detox Podcast, where we explore the intersections of science, spirituality, and holistic living. In this episode, Kara Lovehart, Mind-Body Psychic Medium and Executive Intuitive Business Coach, interviews Sarah Johnson, a licensed therapist, shamanic healer, relationship intuitive, and author of Scared and Exhausted: How to Understand Your Child, Move Past Fear, and Parent with Ease.

This heartfelt conversation dives into conscious parenting and how we can nurture emotionally resilient and self-aware children in today’s fast-paced world. Sarah shares her unique journey from traditional psychotherapy to alternative healing modalities, offering valuable insights into the art of raising conscious children. From her passion for integrating creativity into healing to her wisdom as both a counselor and parent, Sarah provides actionable tips and inspiration for caregivers and parents alike.

Whether you’re a parent navigating the challenges of raising children, a holistic practitioner seeking new perspectives, or someone curious about shamanic healing and art therapy, this episode is filled with insights to help you deepen your connection with yourself and the children in your life.

Read on to explore the full transcript of this powerful conversation, where we discuss:

• The importance of self-awareness in parenting.
• How art and creativity foster emotional expression and healing.
• Shamanic perspectives on the sacred parent-child relationship.
• Practical tips for raising emotionally intelligent children.
• The role of forgiveness and empathy in family dynamics.

Stay tuned for transformative insights that bridge the gap between science, spirituality, and family life. If you’re passionate about creating a more conscious world for the next generation, this episode is for you!

 
 00:00:02.563 --> 00:00:06.166
 This is the MindBodyDetox podcast,
 
 00:00:06.546 --> 00:00:08.467
 where we discuss all things
 
 00:00:08.667 --> 00:00:10.429
 integrative health and wellness,
 
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 interviewing folks from all
 
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 over the world,
 
 00:00:13.170 --> 00:00:15.151
 sharing insights and wisdom
 
 00:00:15.372 --> 00:00:18.155
 for how to live a healthier life in mind,
 
 00:00:18.414 --> 00:00:19.916
 body, and spirit.
 
 00:00:25.259 --> 00:00:26.519
 Welcome back everyone to the
 
 00:00:26.559 --> 00:00:28.179
 MindBodyDetox podcast.
 
 00:00:28.339 --> 00:00:30.041
 I am your host, MindBodyMedium,
 
 00:00:30.100 --> 00:00:30.940
 Kara Lovehart.
 
 00:00:31.100 --> 00:00:32.981
 And we are here another
 
 00:00:33.082 --> 00:00:34.063
 episode where we're going
 
 00:00:34.082 --> 00:00:35.122
 to interview someone who
 
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 has the background of a psychotherapist,
 
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 but has ventured into the
 
 00:00:40.365 --> 00:00:41.466
 spiritual aspect and the
 
 00:00:41.566 --> 00:00:43.286
 nature of us as human beings.
 
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 So I'm so excited today.
 
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 We're going to be
 
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 introducing you to Sarah Johnson.
 
 00:00:47.828 --> 00:00:50.029
 She is a therapist, a shamanic healer,
 
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 a relationship intuitive,
 
 00:00:51.770 --> 00:00:53.831
 and the author of Sacred and Exhausted.
 
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 how to understand your child,
 
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 move past fear, and parents with ease.
 
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 Sarah began her healing
 
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 journey after years of
 
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 struggling with substance abuse,
 
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 depression, and anxiety,
 
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 and her healing experiences
 
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 led her from traditional
 
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 psychotherapy to
 
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 alternative forms of
 
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 healing to discover herself
 
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 and her life's work.
 
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 And Sarah has guided
 
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 thousands of individuals to
 
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 connect with themselves and
 
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 heal their relationships.
 
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 So these are the people we
 
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 bring on the show, guys,
 
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 the people who have gone
 
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 through their own journeys,
 
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 who've walked the talk,
 
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 who have gone to those dark spaces.
 
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 And those are usually the
 
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 people who have really been
 
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 shining their light,
 
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 not only on this show,
 
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 but in the world at this
 
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 time that we're making a big impact.
 
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 So I'm really excited to bring Sarah on.
 
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 And we're going to dive into
 
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 some really awesome
 
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 questions and go in here
 
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 for you guys to learn a
 
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 little bit more about her
 
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 and her background.
 
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 Hi, Sarah.
 
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 Hey, Cara.
 
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 Thanks for having me on.
 
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 I'm very excited to be here.
 
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 Yay.
 
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 Wonderful.
 
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 Well,
 
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 we actually met at an event and I had
 
 00:01:52.519 --> 00:01:53.459
 a couple of my friends said,
 
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 you need to go over and meet this woman.
 
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 And when I meet someone who
 
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 has a psychotherapy background,
 
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 they're also venturing in
 
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 or have been introduced to
 
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 or are deep into spiritual nature,
 
 00:02:06.003 --> 00:02:06.843
 sermonic culture,
 
 00:02:07.043 --> 00:02:08.383
 whatever the healing aspect things,
 
 00:02:08.522 --> 00:02:10.104
 and they're also grounded.
 
 00:02:11.276 --> 00:02:12.358
 like your energy is,
 
 00:02:12.837 --> 00:02:14.419
 I get very excited because
 
 00:02:14.699 --> 00:02:16.701
 there is this nice balance
 
 00:02:16.722 --> 00:02:17.703
 between being very
 
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 intuitive and getting
 
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 tapped into spirit and then
 
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 also being grounded and
 
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 anchored and having
 
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 boundaries and professionalism.
 
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 So I was like, oh, wow.
 
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 So we connected and we
 
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 decided to do a podcast together.
 
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 So I'm curious in general,
 
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 because we didn't actually
 
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 get to talk about this, but
 
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 When you were just being a counselor,
 
 00:02:40.102 --> 00:02:41.002
 a psychotherapist,
 
 00:02:41.742 --> 00:02:44.284
 what was the segue to
 
 00:02:44.925 --> 00:02:46.006
 journeying into becoming a
 
 00:02:46.045 --> 00:02:47.867
 shamanic healer and the intuitive piece?
 
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 What opened the door for you?
 
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 Good question.
 
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 So I worked in a lot of different areas.
 
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 I worked a lot of different
 
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 settings with a lot of
 
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 different types of populations.
 
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 And I ended up in a private
 
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 practice where I just got burned out.
 
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 And so I stepped away from therapy.
 
 00:03:05.883 --> 00:03:07.004
 I kind of thought, you know,
 
 00:03:07.025 --> 00:03:08.667
 therapy wasn't super effective.
 
 00:03:09.106 --> 00:03:10.588
 I was looking for other ways
 
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 to help people.
 
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 But also I was in a place
 
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 where I was not very helpful.
 
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 And I knew that at the time, too.
 
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 So I stepped away for a little bit.
 
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 I did some community based
 
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 therapy when I did come back a little bit,
 
 00:03:21.841 --> 00:03:23.462
 but still frequently
 
 00:03:23.483 --> 00:03:24.804
 looking for alternatives.
 
 00:03:25.485 --> 00:03:25.564
 Um,
 
 00:03:25.685 --> 00:03:27.384
 I found that some things were helpful
 
 00:03:27.425 --> 00:03:28.765
 and some things just felt like there,
 
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 there had to be more.
 
 00:03:30.425 --> 00:03:31.325
 So I started to get into
 
 00:03:31.385 --> 00:03:33.265
 some alternative things, um,
 
 00:03:33.566 --> 00:03:34.646
 that are just different
 
 00:03:34.667 --> 00:03:35.247
 than traditional
 
 00:03:35.287 --> 00:03:36.727
 psychotherapy that have
 
 00:03:36.766 --> 00:03:37.866
 become more common now.
 
 00:03:38.426 --> 00:03:41.268
 Um, but back then weren't so, um,
 
 00:03:41.288 --> 00:03:42.448
 energy psychology was one
 
 00:03:42.487 --> 00:03:44.668
 of them like muscle testing and tapping.
 
 00:03:45.127 --> 00:03:46.269
 I started to get into that.
 
 00:03:46.968 --> 00:03:47.109
 Uh,
 
 00:03:47.248 --> 00:03:48.729
 and I was always kind of interested in
 
 00:03:48.788 --> 00:03:49.429
 shamanism,
 
 00:03:49.449 --> 00:03:51.049
 but I was a little intimidated by it.
 
 00:03:51.729 --> 00:03:54.590
 So I got back into private practice again.
 
 00:03:55.590 --> 00:03:57.711
 started doing some healing work that way.
 
 00:03:58.170 --> 00:04:00.510
 And then again, just felt that like, well,
 
 00:04:00.531 --> 00:04:01.651
 what's the spiritual
 
 00:04:01.751 --> 00:04:03.111
 element of this issue?
 
 00:04:03.731 --> 00:04:04.912
 Like there's something else
 
 00:04:04.951 --> 00:04:06.771
 going on other than what I
 
 00:04:06.792 --> 00:04:07.913
 have the information about.
 
 00:04:08.252 --> 00:04:09.932
 And that's what moved me into shamanism.
 
 00:04:09.973 --> 00:04:10.332
 Finally,
 
 00:04:10.372 --> 00:04:12.372
 I was brave enough to step into it
 
 00:04:12.493 --> 00:04:14.753
 and ultimately feel super
 
 00:04:14.894 --> 00:04:16.593
 happy and glad that I did
 
 00:04:16.634 --> 00:04:17.615
 because that's exactly what
 
 00:04:17.634 --> 00:04:18.175
 I was looking for.
 
 00:04:18.214 --> 00:04:19.595
 I was looking for that extra piece.
 
 00:04:21.007 --> 00:04:21.326
 Yeah,
 
 00:04:21.346 --> 00:04:23.247
 there's so much more behind the
 
 00:04:23.309 --> 00:04:25.069
 intellectual knowledge or
 
 00:04:25.829 --> 00:04:27.130
 the academic understanding
 
 00:04:27.271 --> 00:04:28.612
 of psychology and even just
 
 00:04:28.651 --> 00:04:29.673
 the physiology of how the
 
 00:04:29.713 --> 00:04:31.173
 brain and the nervous system works.
 
 00:04:31.274 --> 00:04:33.194
 I feel like that piece,
 
 00:04:33.235 --> 00:04:34.016
 when you start touching
 
 00:04:34.076 --> 00:04:35.235
 into the energy piece,
 
 00:04:36.877 --> 00:04:38.278
 beyond the physical realm,
 
 00:04:38.358 --> 00:04:40.240
 that there's so much to unpack.
 
 00:04:40.259 --> 00:04:43.822
 And I'm really stoked that now, you know,
 
 00:04:43.862 --> 00:04:45.362
 ten years after I've been doing this work
 
 00:04:45.923 --> 00:04:46.824
 that this is something that
 
 00:04:46.863 --> 00:04:48.345
 people are now interested in.
 
 00:04:48.404 --> 00:04:49.947
 It doesn't seem as scary.
 
 00:04:50.666 --> 00:04:53.910
 We have still this process
 
 00:04:53.930 --> 00:04:54.790
 that we're going through
 
 00:04:54.810 --> 00:04:57.072
 that I'd love to ask you
 
 00:04:57.112 --> 00:05:01.875
 about with the word shaman, with this
 
 00:05:02.951 --> 00:05:04.872
 potential use of it that's empowering,
 
 00:05:05.252 --> 00:05:06.093
 a potential use of it
 
 00:05:06.112 --> 00:05:07.533
 that's disempowering and
 
 00:05:07.814 --> 00:05:09.394
 appropriating different
 
 00:05:09.435 --> 00:05:11.495
 cultural uses of that term.
 
 00:05:12.115 --> 00:05:12.997
 But I'd love to hear your
 
 00:05:13.036 --> 00:05:15.096
 perspective on how you adopted that term.
 
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 How do you respect it?
 
 00:05:16.418 --> 00:05:17.257
 And how do you honor it?
 
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 And what does it mean for you?
 
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 Yeah.
 
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 So that's something I've
 
 00:05:21.480 --> 00:05:22.141
 thought a lot about.
 
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 It's something that in the
 
 00:05:24.122 --> 00:05:25.002
 course that I took,
 
 00:05:25.802 --> 00:05:27.262
 the training that I took,
 
 00:05:28.103 --> 00:05:29.665
 There's a lot of respect around that.
 
 00:05:29.764 --> 00:05:30.966
 There's definitely a high
 
 00:05:31.026 --> 00:05:34.187
 understanding that it is appropriation.
 
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 I am not a shaman.
 
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 A shaman is somebody who was
 
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 chosen by their community
 
 00:05:38.471 --> 00:05:39.752
 to be the healer of the community.
 
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 I wasn't raised in a culture
 
 00:05:41.788 --> 00:05:42.910
 that has those practices
 
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 the program that I went to
 
 00:05:45.252 --> 00:05:46.331
 we talked a lot about
 
 00:05:46.512 --> 00:05:47.793
 honoring and respecting
 
 00:05:48.093 --> 00:05:50.795
 where you come from so my
 
 00:05:50.896 --> 00:05:52.396
 specific lineage of
 
 00:05:52.437 --> 00:05:54.057
 shamanism comes from mexico
 
 00:05:54.117 --> 00:05:55.119
 it's actually chiapas
 
 00:05:55.158 --> 00:05:57.841
 mexico it's from maya
 
 00:05:58.000 --> 00:06:00.762
 people and so there is an
 
 00:06:00.822 --> 00:06:02.463
 understanding that I was
 
 00:06:02.504 --> 00:06:06.346
 gifted this this was passed down and
 
 00:06:07.545 --> 00:06:09.605
 There's just such a high respect for that,
 
 00:06:09.685 --> 00:06:10.807
 for the ancestors,
 
 00:06:11.286 --> 00:06:12.987
 for the knowledge from even
 
 00:06:13.348 --> 00:06:16.170
 the way that it got to me, for my teacher,
 
 00:06:16.189 --> 00:06:17.290
 for my teacher's teacher
 
 00:06:17.531 --> 00:06:19.012
 who learned from and lived
 
 00:06:19.052 --> 00:06:20.451
 with the indigenous tribe
 
 00:06:20.471 --> 00:06:21.572
 that actually this form of
 
 00:06:21.593 --> 00:06:22.653
 shamanism comes from.
 
 00:06:23.814 --> 00:06:26.175
 So it is something that is appropriated.
 
 00:06:26.475 --> 00:06:27.857
 I have a lot of respect for it.
 
 00:06:29.357 --> 00:06:32.079
 The terminology is tricky because
 
 00:06:32.817 --> 00:06:34.978
 I think it's something I play around with.
 
 00:06:34.999 --> 00:06:37.021
 Like, do I practice shamanism?
 
 00:06:37.540 --> 00:06:38.221
 Am I a shaman?
 
 00:06:38.242 --> 00:06:40.062
 Am I a shamanic practitioner?
 
 00:06:41.504 --> 00:06:42.285
 And it's something that I've
 
 00:06:42.305 --> 00:06:44.607
 kind of settled into that I
 
 00:06:44.706 --> 00:06:47.709
 follow things from shamanic
 
 00:06:47.889 --> 00:06:53.374
 cultures that I have met skills and again,
 
 00:06:53.413 --> 00:06:55.435
 gifts that are used in
 
 00:06:55.456 --> 00:06:56.956
 these cultures that with
 
 00:06:57.036 --> 00:06:58.098
 permission from all of my
 
 00:06:58.137 --> 00:06:59.920
 teachers were taught to me.
 
 00:07:01.192 --> 00:07:01.812
 Yeah.
 
 00:07:01.872 --> 00:07:03.074
 So if you had to speak to
 
 00:07:03.093 --> 00:07:04.415
 someone who does no idea
 
 00:07:04.535 --> 00:07:06.315
 what some of the practices
 
 00:07:06.456 --> 00:07:07.877
 are from shamanic traditions,
 
 00:07:07.898 --> 00:07:08.458
 and there's so many
 
 00:07:08.478 --> 00:07:10.139
 difference all over the world, right?
 
 00:07:10.660 --> 00:07:12.422
 What are some of the tools
 
 00:07:12.461 --> 00:07:14.523
 that are used that can be
 
 00:07:14.543 --> 00:07:16.105
 simplified for someone to say, okay,
 
 00:07:16.185 --> 00:07:17.386
 that is a shamanic
 
 00:07:17.725 --> 00:07:20.468
 tradition or tool or modality, or,
 
 00:07:20.749 --> 00:07:21.769
 or if you want to call it that.
 
 00:07:22.870 --> 00:07:25.351
 So it has to do a lot with relationships.
 
 00:07:25.992 --> 00:07:28.954
 So one of the big, um,
 
 00:07:29.968 --> 00:07:31.548
 And keep in mind also that
 
 00:07:31.649 --> 00:07:34.250
 shamanism is taught so differently, um,
 
 00:07:34.850 --> 00:07:37.271
 significantly significant differences.
 
 00:07:37.911 --> 00:07:38.031
 Um,
 
 00:07:38.091 --> 00:07:41.151
 so the way that I was taught was that
 
 00:07:41.232 --> 00:07:44.952
 when we go into a shamanic journey, um,
 
 00:07:45.593 --> 00:07:48.153
 I'm just leading you into your answers.
 
 00:07:48.994 --> 00:07:50.694
 So in other shamanic practices,
 
 00:07:50.874 --> 00:07:52.314
 they do the journey for you
 
 00:07:52.613 --> 00:07:53.935
 and come back and bring the
 
 00:07:53.995 --> 00:07:54.915
 answers back to you.
 
 00:07:55.495 --> 00:07:57.696
 So this is also there.
 
 00:07:57.776 --> 00:07:58.875
 It gets a little, um,
 
 00:07:59.752 --> 00:08:01.012
 complicated as far as what
 
 00:08:01.052 --> 00:08:02.533
 form of shamanism you're talking about.
 
 00:08:02.694 --> 00:08:04.154
 So the way I was taught,
 
 00:08:05.415 --> 00:08:07.516
 the big thing is about relationships.
 
 00:08:07.776 --> 00:08:08.735
 So if we're thinking about
 
 00:08:09.797 --> 00:08:12.858
 traditional cultures or
 
 00:08:12.978 --> 00:08:14.999
 tribes or villages that had shamans,
 
 00:08:16.399 --> 00:08:18.360
 often they were the person
 
 00:08:18.560 --> 00:08:20.841
 that checked on the harmony of the group.
 
 00:08:21.560 --> 00:08:22.341
 They were the person that
 
 00:08:22.380 --> 00:08:23.641
 lived on the outside of town.
 
 00:08:24.041 --> 00:08:24.961
 They were the one who said,
 
 00:08:25.081 --> 00:08:26.583
 what is not in harmony here?
 
 00:08:26.783 --> 00:08:28.124
 So it hasn't rained.
 
 00:08:28.163 --> 00:08:29.043
 Our crops aren't growing.
 
 00:08:29.800 --> 00:08:31.360
 We as a people are out of harmony.
 
 00:08:32.101 --> 00:08:33.841
 And so that's where I like
 
 00:08:33.861 --> 00:08:35.942
 to pull from is when I specifically,
 
 00:08:35.961 --> 00:08:37.123
 when I work with people too,
 
 00:08:37.582 --> 00:08:38.802
 is where is the disharmony?
 
 00:08:39.043 --> 00:08:40.682
 And I feel like that's my
 
 00:08:40.764 --> 00:08:41.923
 specific medicine that I'm
 
 00:08:41.964 --> 00:08:43.624
 supposed to work with people on.
 
 00:08:44.823 --> 00:08:45.804
 So that would be one thing
 
 00:08:45.985 --> 00:08:47.264
 is looking at the
 
 00:08:47.304 --> 00:08:49.144
 relationship and where the disharmony is.
 
 00:08:49.625 --> 00:08:51.625
 Another thing is animism.
 
 00:08:52.662 --> 00:08:53.743
 So just seeing everything as
 
 00:08:53.763 --> 00:08:54.403
 having a soul.
 
 00:08:55.082 --> 00:08:56.563
 So things that are a little
 
 00:08:56.683 --> 00:08:57.965
 easier to see that have a
 
 00:08:58.044 --> 00:08:59.745
 soul are things like plants and trees.
 
 00:09:01.005 --> 00:09:02.466
 But then it's more than that.
 
 00:09:02.626 --> 00:09:05.947
 It's ideas, it's concepts, it's our home,
 
 00:09:05.988 --> 00:09:08.529
 it's our vehicles, it's everything.
 
 00:09:09.090 --> 00:09:10.311
 So I like to pull that in too.
 
 00:09:11.410 --> 00:09:12.010
 I love that.
 
 00:09:12.171 --> 00:09:13.091
 I think that my
 
 00:09:13.131 --> 00:09:14.633
 understanding of shamanism
 
 00:09:15.393 --> 00:09:17.573
 from my own journey as a
 
 00:09:17.653 --> 00:09:20.956
 seer has been the ability to
 
 00:09:23.102 --> 00:09:24.384
 you could say walk between worlds,
 
 00:09:24.423 --> 00:09:25.706
 but being able to be
 
 00:09:25.765 --> 00:09:27.187
 grounded and anchored into
 
 00:09:27.326 --> 00:09:28.489
 the physical reality of
 
 00:09:28.668 --> 00:09:30.530
 what is presented in front of you,
 
 00:09:30.591 --> 00:09:32.732
 but also see underlying
 
 00:09:32.773 --> 00:09:34.975
 patterns and structures
 
 00:09:35.095 --> 00:09:37.037
 that are happening in psychology,
 
 00:09:37.158 --> 00:09:38.519
 in the spiritual aspect of things,
 
 00:09:38.558 --> 00:09:39.240
 in the energy.
 
 00:09:39.720 --> 00:09:40.921
 And you said the animism.
 
 00:09:41.522 --> 00:09:43.023
 you know, when you have that sense and you,
 
 00:09:43.222 --> 00:09:43.644
 you, you,
 
 00:09:43.724 --> 00:09:45.085
 it's something that can be developed.
 
 00:09:45.144 --> 00:09:45.806
 It's something that people
 
 00:09:45.826 --> 00:09:47.746
 have more skillset for, but it can still,
 
 00:09:47.767 --> 00:09:48.207
 you know,
 
 00:09:48.227 --> 00:09:49.908
 that's why they would choose the shaman.
 
 00:09:49.928 --> 00:09:50.929
 Like that person has the
 
 00:09:50.970 --> 00:09:51.951
 gift and they would take
 
 00:09:51.971 --> 00:09:53.211
 them in and they would mentor them.
 
 00:09:53.711 --> 00:09:55.293
 And I think that that gift
 
 00:09:55.354 --> 00:09:56.053
 is something that,
 
 00:09:56.735 --> 00:09:57.615
 that skillset is something
 
 00:09:57.634 --> 00:09:58.255
 that a lot of people are
 
 00:09:58.316 --> 00:09:59.537
 growing and whether or not
 
 00:09:59.557 --> 00:10:00.998
 they call themselves a shaman or not,
 
 00:10:01.097 --> 00:10:02.659
 it's how I think it's how it's used,
 
 00:10:02.980 --> 00:10:04.341
 but it is this perception
 
 00:10:04.581 --> 00:10:05.881
 of reality that everything
 
 00:10:06.001 --> 00:10:07.423
 does have an energetic signature.
 
 00:10:08.043 --> 00:10:10.046
 whether you call it a soul, an entity,
 
 00:10:10.206 --> 00:10:10.865
 a thought form.
 
 00:10:11.506 --> 00:10:12.086
 And I think if you
 
 00:10:12.187 --> 00:10:13.548
 understand how those things work,
 
 00:10:13.589 --> 00:10:14.328
 how they operate,
 
 00:10:14.369 --> 00:10:15.470
 how they interact with things,
 
 00:10:15.910 --> 00:10:17.152
 like seeing the imbalances
 
 00:10:17.231 --> 00:10:20.293
 in the disharmony in the tribe,
 
 00:10:20.313 --> 00:10:20.794
 in the group,
 
 00:10:21.434 --> 00:10:23.336
 that's what I always am
 
 00:10:23.356 --> 00:10:25.357
 looking at in how can we
 
 00:10:25.378 --> 00:10:27.919
 find harmony from a global collective,
 
 00:10:27.960 --> 00:10:28.860
 looking at the collective,
 
 00:10:28.880 --> 00:10:30.241
 looking at the big picture,
 
 00:10:30.602 --> 00:10:32.043
 and then zooming back into
 
 00:10:32.464 --> 00:10:33.325
 everything's a reflection
 
 00:10:33.345 --> 00:10:34.065
 of that big picture.
 
 00:10:34.184 --> 00:10:35.907
 Each individual has to make a shift.
 
 00:10:36.307 --> 00:10:38.830
 So I'm curious, along your journey,
 
 00:10:39.971 --> 00:10:40.753
 a lot of these things,
 
 00:10:41.533 --> 00:10:43.395
 when people find their healing work,
 
 00:10:43.635 --> 00:10:44.677
 it is going through these
 
 00:10:44.716 --> 00:10:45.918
 dark parts of themselves,
 
 00:10:45.938 --> 00:10:46.860
 these challenges.
 
 00:10:47.900 --> 00:10:48.581
 You had a challenge with
 
 00:10:48.621 --> 00:10:50.063
 substances and you had
 
 00:10:50.083 --> 00:10:50.644
 challenges with the
 
 00:10:50.664 --> 00:10:51.625
 depression and anxiety.
 
 00:10:52.206 --> 00:10:54.086
 I find that people who are
 
 00:10:54.126 --> 00:10:55.807
 inclined to have shamanic
 
 00:10:55.868 --> 00:10:57.628
 or spiritual gifts tend to
 
 00:10:57.668 --> 00:10:58.708
 go through a part of their
 
 00:10:58.769 --> 00:11:00.269
 journey that they could say
 
 00:11:00.309 --> 00:11:01.429
 that in our culture,
 
 00:11:01.470 --> 00:11:02.309
 they struggle with some
 
 00:11:02.331 --> 00:11:03.610
 sort of mental health diagnoses.
 
 00:11:03.951 --> 00:11:04.991
 And there is that fine line
 
 00:11:05.072 --> 00:11:06.412
 between that psychosis that
 
 00:11:06.471 --> 00:11:07.413
 actually going through your
 
 00:11:07.493 --> 00:11:08.432
 own stuff and doing the
 
 00:11:08.472 --> 00:11:09.974
 work and actually having
 
 00:11:10.313 --> 00:11:11.735
 this spiritual awareness.
 
 00:11:11.794 --> 00:11:12.654
 So I'd love to hear your
 
 00:11:12.695 --> 00:11:13.774
 journey a little bit more
 
 00:11:14.275 --> 00:11:15.316
 and how you navigate it,
 
 00:11:15.355 --> 00:11:16.456
 if you care to share some of that.
 
 00:11:16.476 --> 00:11:16.557
 Sure.
 
 00:11:21.225 --> 00:11:23.227
 I think a lot of this starts in childhood,
 
 00:11:23.268 --> 00:11:23.528
 right?
 
 00:11:23.648 --> 00:11:26.870
 And a lot of the coping
 
 00:11:26.910 --> 00:11:28.591
 skills that get developed
 
 00:11:28.631 --> 00:11:30.913
 in childhood and then go
 
 00:11:30.974 --> 00:11:33.336
 into when I was in college.
 
 00:11:33.937 --> 00:11:34.797
 And so that's where,
 
 00:11:35.717 --> 00:11:37.058
 when I look back at it now,
 
 00:11:37.139 --> 00:11:37.940
 that's where I really
 
 00:11:37.980 --> 00:11:39.280
 started to see was in college,
 
 00:11:39.761 --> 00:11:42.043
 a lot of the intensity of
 
 00:11:42.083 --> 00:11:43.384
 anxiety and depression and
 
 00:11:43.404 --> 00:11:45.005
 then alcohol abuse.
 
 00:11:45.405 --> 00:11:48.028
 Because although there were
 
 00:11:48.068 --> 00:11:49.669
 some signs when I was in high school,
 
 00:11:50.339 --> 00:11:51.158
 it wasn't something that was
 
 00:11:51.178 --> 00:11:53.039
 like readily talked about.
 
 00:11:53.080 --> 00:11:53.879
 It wasn't something that was
 
 00:11:53.919 --> 00:11:54.919
 discussed a lot like, Oh,
 
 00:11:54.960 --> 00:11:55.921
 this is anxiety.
 
 00:11:56.660 --> 00:11:57.421
 Um,
 
 00:11:57.500 --> 00:12:00.081
 and so I felt that I was just kind of
 
 00:12:00.142 --> 00:12:00.701
 shy.
 
 00:12:00.802 --> 00:12:01.842
 I just felt it was just like,
 
 00:12:02.702 --> 00:12:04.243
 I really was terrified of people.
 
 00:12:04.583 --> 00:12:06.543
 Like, like when it comes down to it,
 
 00:12:06.663 --> 00:12:08.365
 I was absolutely terrified of people.
 
 00:12:08.985 --> 00:12:09.245
 So, uh,
 
 00:12:09.745 --> 00:12:11.306
 I had a nice friend group in high
 
 00:12:11.346 --> 00:12:11.725
 school though.
 
 00:12:11.745 --> 00:12:13.066
 So it didn't seem so obvious.
 
 00:12:13.145 --> 00:12:14.846
 And then getting taken out
 
 00:12:14.886 --> 00:12:15.907
 of that into a setting
 
 00:12:15.927 --> 00:12:17.668
 where I didn't have close relationships,
 
 00:12:18.227 --> 00:12:18.668
 it became,
 
 00:12:19.265 --> 00:12:20.086
 again, in hindsight,
 
 00:12:20.147 --> 00:12:21.187
 very apparent that that's
 
 00:12:21.206 --> 00:12:21.866
 what was happening.
 
 00:12:22.447 --> 00:12:23.467
 And so in college,
 
 00:12:23.548 --> 00:12:24.568
 it was a really struggle.
 
 00:12:24.589 --> 00:12:26.029
 It was a real struggle with
 
 00:12:26.190 --> 00:12:28.311
 the alcohol use because it's normalized.
 
 00:12:28.910 --> 00:12:30.591
 And so when I look back on it,
 
 00:12:30.672 --> 00:12:31.432
 I think a lot of people
 
 00:12:31.452 --> 00:12:32.613
 were drinking for fun.
 
 00:12:32.732 --> 00:12:33.953
 I think I was drinking for
 
 00:12:34.014 --> 00:12:36.274
 escape and it became like,
 
 00:12:36.315 --> 00:12:37.735
 how often can we escape?
 
 00:12:38.537 --> 00:12:41.138
 And just the absolute fear
 
 00:12:41.817 --> 00:12:44.259
 of being seen really to
 
 00:12:44.279 --> 00:12:46.461
 being seen in any capacity, being judged.
 
 00:12:47.245 --> 00:12:48.285
 um to the point where I
 
 00:12:48.326 --> 00:12:49.408
 wouldn't talk like just
 
 00:12:49.447 --> 00:12:50.509
 wouldn't talk to anyone in
 
 00:12:50.548 --> 00:12:51.470
 my classes I wouldn't talk
 
 00:12:51.490 --> 00:12:52.571
 to my teachers wouldn't
 
 00:12:53.011 --> 00:12:55.053
 wouldn't talk to um you
 
 00:12:55.073 --> 00:12:55.794
 know the other people
 
 00:12:55.875 --> 00:12:57.176
 beside me I would just talk
 
 00:12:57.196 --> 00:13:00.299
 to a few people and um to
 
 00:13:00.320 --> 00:13:01.020
 the point where I was
 
 00:13:01.081 --> 00:13:03.263
 struggling academically and
 
 00:13:03.663 --> 00:13:04.524
 I wouldn't ask for help
 
 00:13:04.884 --> 00:13:05.586
 because I just I didn't
 
 00:13:05.625 --> 00:13:06.567
 know how to I didn't know
 
 00:13:06.586 --> 00:13:07.347
 what was happening
 
 00:13:08.890 --> 00:13:11.072
 And so from going from that
 
 00:13:11.232 --> 00:13:15.014
 to then I found in my senior year,
 
 00:13:15.375 --> 00:13:16.716
 I was going to go into nursing.
 
 00:13:16.755 --> 00:13:18.977
 I knew I wanted to help people.
 
 00:13:19.618 --> 00:13:21.580
 I drank too much and was
 
 00:13:21.799 --> 00:13:22.700
 going to parties and
 
 00:13:22.740 --> 00:13:24.020
 prioritizing that too much
 
 00:13:24.422 --> 00:13:25.581
 that I ended up not being
 
 00:13:25.642 --> 00:13:26.643
 able to have the grades to
 
 00:13:26.682 --> 00:13:27.403
 go into nursing.
 
 00:13:27.464 --> 00:13:30.206
 So I had to do a plan B and I found, well,
 
 00:13:30.446 --> 00:13:31.005
 I didn't find it.
 
 00:13:31.046 --> 00:13:32.246
 My parents sat me down and said,
 
 00:13:32.267 --> 00:13:34.248
 you have to graduate in four years.
 
 00:13:34.288 --> 00:13:34.969
 What are you going to do?
 
 00:13:35.849 --> 00:13:36.610
 And we found that.
 
 00:13:36.856 --> 00:13:37.999
 that I could still graduate
 
 00:13:38.019 --> 00:13:39.581
 in four years with a psychology degree.
 
 00:13:40.322 --> 00:13:42.865
 And so in my senior year,
 
 00:13:42.985 --> 00:13:46.070
 I was in some kind of career class,
 
 00:13:46.110 --> 00:13:47.171
 and I found art therapy.
 
 00:13:48.212 --> 00:13:50.796
 And so it really lit me up,
 
 00:13:50.855 --> 00:13:52.359
 the idea that I could help people,
 
 00:13:52.479 --> 00:13:54.041
 and I just loved art.
 
 00:13:54.850 --> 00:13:55.190
 Um,
 
 00:13:55.269 --> 00:13:56.610
 it was something that felt very safe to
 
 00:13:56.650 --> 00:13:56.870
 me.
 
 00:13:56.931 --> 00:13:58.412
 It was a way to express myself.
 
 00:13:58.991 --> 00:13:59.951
 And so, um,
 
 00:14:00.032 --> 00:14:01.913
 I don't know that I would have gone into,
 
 00:14:02.373 --> 00:14:03.073
 you know, this,
 
 00:14:03.193 --> 00:14:04.313
 the helping professions
 
 00:14:04.474 --> 00:14:05.534
 therapy specifically,
 
 00:14:05.615 --> 00:14:07.535
 because at the time I would have, like,
 
 00:14:07.596 --> 00:14:09.076
 I'm not in a position to help people,
 
 00:14:09.235 --> 00:14:10.157
 especially mentally.
 
 00:14:10.897 --> 00:14:11.037
 Um,
 
 00:14:11.256 --> 00:14:13.057
 but because of the art piece that
 
 00:14:13.077 --> 00:14:14.177
 really like pulled me in.
 
 00:14:14.678 --> 00:14:15.958
 So looking back now,
 
 00:14:15.979 --> 00:14:16.818
 I'm really thankful that
 
 00:14:16.839 --> 00:14:17.480
 that's really the only
 
 00:14:17.519 --> 00:14:19.240
 reason why I'm here is that
 
 00:14:19.321 --> 00:14:20.640
 pull in and that love for
 
 00:14:20.780 --> 00:14:22.442
 art that I was able to, to get into.
 
 00:14:23.283 --> 00:14:24.065
 art therapy first,
 
 00:14:24.105 --> 00:14:26.490
 and that was really the stepping stone of,
 
 00:14:26.730 --> 00:14:28.033
 I had a really good program
 
 00:14:28.554 --> 00:14:29.336
 that I went to,
 
 00:14:30.378 --> 00:14:31.660
 Seton Hill University has
 
 00:14:31.681 --> 00:14:32.884
 an amazing art therapy program
 
 00:14:33.254 --> 00:14:34.474
 where the teachers actually
 
 00:14:35.195 --> 00:14:37.296
 worked with you personally.
 
 00:14:38.196 --> 00:14:38.775
 So there was a lot of
 
 00:14:38.836 --> 00:14:40.057
 healing and growth within that.
 
 00:14:40.157 --> 00:14:42.256
 I had a lot of opportunity
 
 00:14:42.297 --> 00:14:43.457
 to actually like look back
 
 00:14:43.518 --> 00:14:45.139
 at the previous years and
 
 00:14:45.158 --> 00:14:46.278
 see kind of what was
 
 00:14:46.318 --> 00:14:47.759
 happening and what was unfolding.
 
 00:14:48.879 --> 00:14:50.561
 So that was kind of the first step.
 
 00:14:51.821 --> 00:14:52.681
 But then I still went
 
 00:14:52.701 --> 00:14:53.642
 through a lot of years of
 
 00:14:53.701 --> 00:14:57.003
 struggle and didn't really,
 
 00:14:59.504 --> 00:15:01.865
 I went through a lot of therapists,
 
 00:15:02.385 --> 00:15:03.246
 I didn't do any,
 
 00:15:03.346 --> 00:15:03.767
 I would say like
 
 00:15:03.807 --> 00:15:05.308
 alternative methods at that time.
 
 00:15:05.349 --> 00:15:06.210
 It was all just therapy.
 
 00:15:06.269 --> 00:15:07.530
 We were told to be therapists.
 
 00:15:07.551 --> 00:15:08.511
 You should have therapy.
 
 00:15:09.332 --> 00:15:10.754
 So did that.
 
 00:15:11.294 --> 00:15:11.455
 Um,
 
 00:15:11.575 --> 00:15:14.038
 and then ultimately I had a situation
 
 00:15:14.057 --> 00:15:15.158
 that happened where I kind
 
 00:15:15.198 --> 00:15:15.940
 of just did a self
 
 00:15:16.000 --> 00:15:18.282
 inventory and said like, um,
 
 00:15:19.096 --> 00:15:20.898
 The person I am now is
 
 00:15:21.057 --> 00:15:21.958
 different than the person I
 
 00:15:21.979 --> 00:15:22.639
 was three years.
 
 00:15:22.720 --> 00:15:23.880
 I had been drinking a
 
 00:15:23.921 --> 00:15:25.101
 significant amount several
 
 00:15:25.142 --> 00:15:26.864
 nights a week would call into work late.
 
 00:15:27.644 --> 00:15:27.745
 Um,
 
 00:15:27.865 --> 00:15:30.528
 I worked with kids as a therapist and
 
 00:15:30.548 --> 00:15:32.289
 the shame of that became so
 
 00:15:32.330 --> 00:15:34.552
 great that it was in,
 
 00:15:34.932 --> 00:15:36.113
 there was a split moment
 
 00:15:36.133 --> 00:15:37.534
 where I called off from work and I felt,
 
 00:15:37.715 --> 00:15:38.155
 cause I was,
 
 00:15:38.515 --> 00:15:39.677
 had been up drinking until
 
 00:15:39.716 --> 00:15:40.418
 three in the morning.
 
 00:15:41.554 --> 00:15:42.937
 and couldn't get it together
 
 00:15:42.956 --> 00:15:43.537
 to get to work.
 
 00:15:43.716 --> 00:15:46.438
 And so the shame of that, I was just like,
 
 00:15:46.458 --> 00:15:48.280
 had to take inventory of myself of like,
 
 00:15:48.561 --> 00:15:49.481
 who am I really to help
 
 00:15:49.522 --> 00:15:50.261
 people if I'm still
 
 00:15:50.282 --> 00:15:51.623
 engaging in all these behaviors?
 
 00:15:52.484 --> 00:15:53.804
 Yeah.
 
 00:15:53.865 --> 00:15:54.846
 That's amazing.
 
 00:15:55.025 --> 00:15:56.047
 That's a turning point.
 
 00:15:57.008 --> 00:15:58.308
 I feel like that's a turning
 
 00:15:58.349 --> 00:16:02.991
 point that I always know
 
 00:16:03.011 --> 00:16:04.594
 that the universe life has
 
 00:16:05.053 --> 00:16:06.294
 those moments that are kind
 
 00:16:06.335 --> 00:16:07.316
 of ready for people.
 
 00:16:07.375 --> 00:16:08.456
 They're ripe when they're ripe.
 
 00:16:09.691 --> 00:16:12.192
 And so many in the healing profession,
 
 00:16:12.653 --> 00:16:13.634
 that wounded healer
 
 00:16:13.693 --> 00:16:14.715
 archetype that doesn't
 
 00:16:14.815 --> 00:16:16.875
 recognize consciously that they are,
 
 00:16:17.275 --> 00:16:17.537
 you know,
 
 00:16:17.596 --> 00:16:18.677
 they're called to help because
 
 00:16:18.697 --> 00:16:20.118
 they've been wounded or whatever it is,
 
 00:16:21.119 --> 00:16:21.759
 that there's a lot of
 
 00:16:21.820 --> 00:16:23.441
 unconscious driving of some
 
 00:16:23.461 --> 00:16:23.941
 of these healing
 
 00:16:23.980 --> 00:16:25.863
 professional modalities and
 
 00:16:25.883 --> 00:16:26.663
 people in the driver's seat,
 
 00:16:26.682 --> 00:16:27.524
 even of psychotherapy.
 
 00:16:28.144 --> 00:16:29.644
 um where there is and it's
 
 00:16:29.664 --> 00:16:30.725
 challenging because when
 
 00:16:30.745 --> 00:16:31.667
 you're trying to find
 
 00:16:31.807 --> 00:16:32.727
 you're actually when you
 
 00:16:32.768 --> 00:16:33.628
 start to decide you really
 
 00:16:33.668 --> 00:16:34.668
 want to do your own healing
 
 00:16:35.250 --> 00:16:36.330
 and you made that decision
 
 00:16:36.870 --> 00:16:38.351
 I I'm excited to hear what
 
 00:16:38.371 --> 00:16:39.153
 happened next because
 
 00:16:39.293 --> 00:16:41.354
 usually that's when like it
 
 00:16:41.413 --> 00:16:42.615
 really starts to get real
 
 00:16:46.618 --> 00:16:48.360
 well and so the the path
 
 00:16:48.379 --> 00:16:49.299
 has really been though
 
 00:16:49.760 --> 00:16:51.442
 looking at all the external
 
 00:16:51.481 --> 00:16:53.844
 things I have used to feel
 
 00:16:53.884 --> 00:16:54.705
 well internally
 
 00:16:56.155 --> 00:16:57.736
 And I'm still working on that.
 
 00:16:57.817 --> 00:16:59.777
 There's still levels that I'm uncovering,
 
 00:17:00.837 --> 00:17:02.038
 but it does go through like,
 
 00:17:02.057 --> 00:17:03.119
 so what's the anxiety about?
 
 00:17:03.139 --> 00:17:04.259
 What's the depression about?
 
 00:17:04.638 --> 00:17:06.759
 How am I self-medicating in
 
 00:17:06.900 --> 00:17:07.740
 one way or the other?
 
 00:17:07.900 --> 00:17:09.421
 And it can be with substances,
 
 00:17:09.480 --> 00:17:11.641
 it could be with food,
 
 00:17:11.681 --> 00:17:12.882
 it could be with relationships,
 
 00:17:12.922 --> 00:17:13.801
 it could be with sex,
 
 00:17:13.842 --> 00:17:14.782
 it could be any of these things.
 
 00:17:15.242 --> 00:17:18.183
 And so it became a awareness that
 
 00:17:19.525 --> 00:17:22.747
 my life had really gotten to
 
 00:17:22.787 --> 00:17:24.167
 a point where I had to undo
 
 00:17:24.268 --> 00:17:25.548
 all these things that I had
 
 00:17:25.588 --> 00:17:26.809
 thought were helpful.
 
 00:17:27.430 --> 00:17:28.971
 So the first thing I did was the tapping.
 
 00:17:29.691 --> 00:17:30.011
 That was...
 
 00:17:31.169 --> 00:17:32.409
 majorly healing for me.
 
 00:17:33.230 --> 00:17:35.369
 Um, I was able to, as they say,
 
 00:17:35.470 --> 00:17:37.611
 collapse a significant, you know,
 
 00:17:37.651 --> 00:17:40.290
 childhood traumas, sexual trauma, um,
 
 00:17:40.471 --> 00:17:41.852
 things that had stuck with
 
 00:17:41.892 --> 00:17:42.751
 me for a long time.
 
 00:17:42.892 --> 00:17:44.852
 And so that was my first, um,
 
 00:17:44.892 --> 00:17:45.813
 like this is not therapy.
 
 00:17:45.833 --> 00:17:47.833
 It was also something I did with somebody,
 
 00:17:47.853 --> 00:17:48.712
 but it was also something
 
 00:17:48.732 --> 00:17:50.713
 then I did with myself and
 
 00:17:50.794 --> 00:17:52.493
 also felt the relief that
 
 00:17:52.534 --> 00:17:53.654
 came just from having that
 
 00:17:53.674 --> 00:17:54.835
 tool for myself also.
 
 00:17:54.974 --> 00:17:55.055
 Yeah.
 
 00:17:55.835 --> 00:17:58.076
 I love how much the research
 
 00:17:58.136 --> 00:18:02.699
 is now coming out on how much trauma, yes,
 
 00:18:02.719 --> 00:18:03.700
 needs to be worded,
 
 00:18:03.720 --> 00:18:04.640
 it needs to be labeled,
 
 00:18:04.661 --> 00:18:05.840
 it needs to be identified
 
 00:18:05.861 --> 00:18:07.041
 so that we can name it,
 
 00:18:07.362 --> 00:18:08.502
 so we can identify how
 
 00:18:08.563 --> 00:18:10.163
 sometimes to process or
 
 00:18:10.183 --> 00:18:11.064
 just give a word to the
 
 00:18:11.104 --> 00:18:12.125
 emotion that we were
 
 00:18:12.144 --> 00:18:13.365
 feeling during that time.
 
 00:18:14.508 --> 00:18:15.689
 and then somatically working
 
 00:18:15.729 --> 00:18:17.471
 it out through all these different ways.
 
 00:18:17.490 --> 00:18:21.074
 And even the aspect of art
 
 00:18:21.114 --> 00:18:22.836
 therapy as a tool too,
 
 00:18:23.096 --> 00:18:23.977
 because that's such a
 
 00:18:24.096 --> 00:18:25.238
 beautiful space that you're
 
 00:18:25.739 --> 00:18:27.579
 in this kind of altered state in a way,
 
 00:18:27.619 --> 00:18:28.480
 if you get in that flow
 
 00:18:28.520 --> 00:18:29.842
 state and you're creating
 
 00:18:30.442 --> 00:18:31.903
 almost from that unconscious,
 
 00:18:31.923 --> 00:18:33.025
 you're bringing it out onto
 
 00:18:33.045 --> 00:18:34.686
 a piece of paper.
 
 00:18:34.967 --> 00:18:36.568
 I just finally feel that
 
 00:18:36.608 --> 00:18:38.250
 we're moving in this direction that...
 
 00:18:39.250 --> 00:18:41.271
 as we continue to provide
 
 00:18:41.471 --> 00:18:42.952
 resources like this to
 
 00:18:42.972 --> 00:18:44.093
 share with people that
 
 00:18:44.113 --> 00:18:45.913
 their efficacy and people
 
 00:18:45.953 --> 00:18:47.595
 are starting to get these
 
 00:18:47.795 --> 00:18:48.595
 tools that they've been
 
 00:18:48.634 --> 00:18:52.257
 needing so yeah so yeah go go on
 
 00:19:18.208 --> 00:19:18.327
 Yeah,
 
 00:19:18.788 --> 00:19:20.048
 and I agree with exactly what you're
 
 00:19:20.088 --> 00:19:20.388
 saying.
 
 00:19:20.509 --> 00:19:22.009
 And the thing that I think
 
 00:19:22.069 --> 00:19:23.671
 is very fascinating is that
 
 00:19:23.711 --> 00:19:25.672
 there's so many tools and
 
 00:19:25.711 --> 00:19:27.133
 it's not a one size fits all.
 
 00:19:27.553 --> 00:19:29.053
 And I encourage everyone to
 
 00:19:29.094 --> 00:19:30.074
 find the thing that fits.
 
 00:19:30.153 --> 00:19:31.835
 And so I've been through multiple things.
 
 00:19:33.076 --> 00:19:33.976
 One of the things I have on
 
 00:19:34.016 --> 00:19:36.277
 my Instagram is I have a
 
 00:19:36.376 --> 00:19:37.678
 PDF that you can get for free.
 
 00:19:38.178 --> 00:19:39.499
 It's it's like seventy plus
 
 00:19:39.538 --> 00:19:40.881
 pages of all the modalities
 
 00:19:40.901 --> 00:19:41.721
 I'm familiar with.
 
 00:19:41.862 --> 00:19:43.282
 And there's like a brief description.
 
 00:19:43.903 --> 00:19:45.325
 It talks about the pricing of it,
 
 00:19:45.365 --> 00:19:46.266
 where you can find it.
 
 00:19:47.227 --> 00:19:48.387
 And it's because some
 
 00:19:48.488 --> 00:19:50.068
 therapy isn't for people.
 
 00:19:50.189 --> 00:19:51.471
 Some people, you know,
 
 00:19:52.310 --> 00:19:53.211
 I have clients who have a
 
 00:19:53.271 --> 00:19:54.673
 spouse who's just not interested.
 
 00:19:55.273 --> 00:19:58.035
 You know, they would rather not do that.
 
 00:19:58.095 --> 00:19:59.115
 And it is intimidating.
 
 00:19:59.174 --> 00:20:01.215
 And so I created this list to be like,
 
 00:20:01.236 --> 00:20:02.776
 well, just do anything, you know,
 
 00:20:02.935 --> 00:20:05.376
 work with work with oils,
 
 00:20:05.396 --> 00:20:06.757
 work with essential oils or
 
 00:20:06.896 --> 00:20:07.936
 go to a craniosacral
 
 00:20:07.957 --> 00:20:09.778
 therapist or go to a shaman
 
 00:20:09.837 --> 00:20:13.077
 or just just our world needs well people.
 
 00:20:13.398 --> 00:20:14.358
 And so just starting
 
 00:20:14.439 --> 00:20:15.378
 something that's the least
 
 00:20:15.459 --> 00:20:17.038
 intimidating thing, just start there.
 
 00:20:17.480 --> 00:20:19.220
 So I like to pass that resource on to you.
 
 00:20:20.171 --> 00:20:21.832
 And then for me,
 
 00:20:22.792 --> 00:20:23.792
 I think it's just been an
 
 00:20:23.913 --> 00:20:27.315
 ongoing learning each step, right?
 
 00:20:27.875 --> 00:20:30.758
 So it's managing anxiety was
 
 00:20:30.958 --> 00:20:32.318
 probably the first thing I
 
 00:20:32.358 --> 00:20:33.358
 really tackled was to
 
 00:20:33.398 --> 00:20:34.900
 looking at where this comes from,
 
 00:20:37.561 --> 00:20:38.742
 coupling it with some of
 
 00:20:38.782 --> 00:20:40.604
 the cognitive behavioral
 
 00:20:40.663 --> 00:20:41.884
 therapy things that are in
 
 00:20:41.903 --> 00:20:42.845
 traditional therapy.
 
 00:20:43.285 --> 00:20:44.586
 Where are these thoughts coming from?
 
 00:20:44.786 --> 00:20:45.586
 Yeah.
 
 00:20:46.067 --> 00:20:46.866
 And then just moving and
 
 00:20:46.906 --> 00:20:48.928
 then new things come up all the time.
 
 00:20:49.648 --> 00:20:51.250
 And the universe has a way of being like,
 
 00:20:51.269 --> 00:20:52.170
 here's your next thing.
 
 00:20:53.131 --> 00:20:54.290
 And so just honoring that
 
 00:20:54.770 --> 00:20:56.412
 and being okay with that too, I think.
 
 00:20:57.712 --> 00:20:58.633
 I know I went through a time
 
 00:20:58.653 --> 00:20:59.753
 where I was like, are you serious?
 
 00:21:00.233 --> 00:21:01.214
 Are we still doing this?
 
 00:21:01.255 --> 00:21:02.934
 We're still giving new things to heal.
 
 00:21:03.316 --> 00:21:04.635
 But I've come to terms that
 
 00:21:04.655 --> 00:21:05.356
 that's how it is.
 
 00:21:05.576 --> 00:21:06.957
 And so, yeah,
 
 00:21:07.198 --> 00:21:08.617
 there's just new things always coming up.
 
 00:21:08.698 --> 00:21:09.999
 And sometimes the thing
 
 00:21:10.019 --> 00:21:11.098
 you're doing is effective.
 
 00:21:11.140 --> 00:21:11.960
 And sometimes you need to
 
 00:21:12.000 --> 00:21:13.861
 switch it up and move to something else.
 
 00:21:14.320 --> 00:21:15.040
 yeah the thing that my
 
 00:21:15.101 --> 00:21:16.142
 partner said a while back
 
 00:21:16.162 --> 00:21:17.261
 was really profound it was
 
 00:21:17.301 --> 00:21:19.022
 a metaphor he said you know
 
 00:21:19.042 --> 00:21:20.022
 when lessons come up it's
 
 00:21:20.042 --> 00:21:21.242
 kind of like jump rope you
 
 00:21:21.262 --> 00:21:21.963
 know the first time the
 
 00:21:22.003 --> 00:21:23.044
 rope comes around you're
 
 00:21:23.064 --> 00:21:24.683
 like oh crap I didn't jump
 
 00:21:25.204 --> 00:21:26.045
 and the next time it comes
 
 00:21:26.065 --> 00:21:27.224
 around you get better and
 
 00:21:27.265 --> 00:21:28.486
 it's not like it goes away
 
 00:21:28.506 --> 00:21:29.506
 it's just like every time
 
 00:21:29.546 --> 00:21:30.506
 then you you meet that
 
 00:21:30.546 --> 00:21:31.487
 person that you weren't
 
 00:21:31.547 --> 00:21:32.487
 able to in the past have a
 
 00:21:32.507 --> 00:21:33.487
 boundary with or whatever
 
 00:21:33.906 --> 00:21:34.988
 it's like oh I know how to
 
 00:21:35.008 --> 00:21:36.127
 jump this and then you're
 
 00:21:36.188 --> 00:21:37.628
 able to interact with a
 
 00:21:37.729 --> 00:21:38.769
 substance or person or
 
 00:21:38.808 --> 00:21:40.009
 challenge in a way that
 
 00:21:40.048 --> 00:21:40.750
 you're just jumping rope
 
 00:21:40.769 --> 00:21:41.950
 you're double dutching you're like fine
 
 00:21:42.269 --> 00:21:43.230
 But then something new comes
 
 00:21:43.270 --> 00:21:44.833
 along or it comes in a
 
 00:21:44.873 --> 00:21:46.174
 different angle that you're like, oh,
 
 00:21:46.214 --> 00:21:46.555
 wait.
 
 00:21:47.175 --> 00:21:48.778
 And I think that's the beauty of life.
 
 00:21:48.817 --> 00:21:49.959
 I think life has these
 
 00:21:49.999 --> 00:21:51.500
 challenges and these
 
 00:21:51.621 --> 00:21:52.922
 opportunities for growth
 
 00:21:52.981 --> 00:21:54.163
 that when we lean into them,
 
 00:21:54.203 --> 00:21:55.184
 it's so rewarding.
 
 00:21:56.702 --> 00:21:56.883
 It's,
 
 00:21:57.383 --> 00:21:59.125
 I think the best part of being a healer,
 
 00:21:59.365 --> 00:22:00.767
 if you identify as that word,
 
 00:22:00.866 --> 00:22:01.527
 I know a lot of people
 
 00:22:01.567 --> 00:22:02.907
 don't like that word, but I say, you know,
 
 00:22:02.948 --> 00:22:03.929
 if you're healing yourself,
 
 00:22:03.969 --> 00:22:04.930
 if you're on a healing journey,
 
 00:22:04.950 --> 00:22:05.490
 you're a healer,
 
 00:22:05.590 --> 00:22:07.112
 you're here to work on yourself.
 
 00:22:07.512 --> 00:22:08.192
 And when you do that,
 
 00:22:08.232 --> 00:22:09.413
 you inadvertently or
 
 00:22:09.433 --> 00:22:10.295
 through mentorship or
 
 00:22:10.315 --> 00:22:12.916
 through going in the sign of work,
 
 00:22:13.718 --> 00:22:14.798
 or even just through example,
 
 00:22:14.818 --> 00:22:15.960
 you're helping others to,
 
 00:22:16.180 --> 00:22:17.019
 to heal as well.
 
 00:22:17.580 --> 00:22:18.461
 So yeah.
 
 00:22:18.540 --> 00:22:20.442
 And then now, now also,
 
 00:22:20.682 --> 00:22:21.442
 if you have children,
 
 00:22:21.722 --> 00:22:22.663
 you're modeling for them.
 
 00:22:22.943 --> 00:22:25.286
 And so I'd love to kind of lead into that,
 
 00:22:25.925 --> 00:22:27.446
 um, because children, you know,
 
 00:22:27.467 --> 00:22:28.048
 you were working with
 
 00:22:28.067 --> 00:22:29.228
 children and now you have
 
 00:22:29.269 --> 00:22:31.150
 your own and you wrote your book.
 
 00:22:31.630 --> 00:22:33.251
 So let's talk a little bit about kids.
 
 00:22:34.313 --> 00:22:35.515
 What is your worldview?
 
 00:22:36.596 --> 00:22:38.037
 From knowing how much trauma
 
 00:22:38.057 --> 00:22:40.140
 we have and actively that
 
 00:22:40.180 --> 00:22:41.942
 things are still perpetuating that,
 
 00:22:42.782 --> 00:22:44.305
 and then if we're doing our own healing,
 
 00:22:45.066 --> 00:22:46.807
 what is your idea on
 
 00:22:47.268 --> 00:22:48.849
 raising children when you
 
 00:22:48.950 --> 00:22:49.790
 have your own healing
 
 00:22:49.830 --> 00:22:51.212
 journey and in the world today?
 
 00:22:52.375 --> 00:22:53.615
 Yeah, so I wrote this book,
 
 00:22:53.654 --> 00:22:55.855
 because what I find when I
 
 00:22:55.895 --> 00:22:56.776
 see clients is there
 
 00:22:56.796 --> 00:22:58.156
 certain areas that people
 
 00:22:58.176 --> 00:22:59.176
 are out of alignment with.
 
 00:23:00.116 --> 00:23:01.678
 And so what I want to do is
 
 00:23:01.698 --> 00:23:03.637
 just focus on each one of those areas.
 
 00:23:03.698 --> 00:23:05.179
 And so the first one is with children,
 
 00:23:05.919 --> 00:23:06.558
 I thought it was super
 
 00:23:06.578 --> 00:23:08.059
 helpful for me writing it
 
 00:23:08.720 --> 00:23:09.759
 for my clients as well.
 
 00:23:10.319 --> 00:23:12.820
 One of the things that moms
 
 00:23:12.840 --> 00:23:13.882
 would often tell me was,
 
 00:23:13.902 --> 00:23:15.182
 I'm just so terrified of
 
 00:23:15.261 --> 00:23:16.362
 traumatizing my child.
 
 00:23:16.842 --> 00:23:18.502
 So they were very aware
 
 00:23:19.500 --> 00:23:20.359
 Often they have their own
 
 00:23:20.400 --> 00:23:21.300
 history of trauma.
 
 00:23:21.480 --> 00:23:22.300
 They don't want to do the
 
 00:23:22.320 --> 00:23:23.080
 same things that their
 
 00:23:23.101 --> 00:23:23.820
 parents did to them,
 
 00:23:23.861 --> 00:23:25.461
 but there's such anxiety around it.
 
 00:23:26.082 --> 00:23:28.022
 And so I wrote this book to
 
 00:23:28.103 --> 00:23:29.163
 help with that anxiety.
 
 00:23:30.002 --> 00:23:31.163
 And the way that that made
 
 00:23:31.222 --> 00:23:32.384
 the most sense to me was to
 
 00:23:32.523 --> 00:23:33.384
 ask questions.
 
 00:23:33.483 --> 00:23:35.144
 And then I did a shamanic
 
 00:23:35.164 --> 00:23:36.605
 journey to then get the
 
 00:23:36.704 --> 00:23:37.684
 answer for that question.
 
 00:23:37.724 --> 00:23:39.346
 So I specifically asked like,
 
 00:23:39.405 --> 00:23:40.286
 what do kids actually need
 
 00:23:40.306 --> 00:23:40.945
 from their parents?
 
 00:23:41.226 --> 00:23:41.987
 What do they need from their
 
 00:23:42.027 --> 00:23:43.247
 friends and their community?
 
 00:23:43.727 --> 00:23:45.288
 from their own hearts and their bodies.
 
 00:23:46.109 --> 00:23:47.311
 And so the book itself is
 
 00:23:47.372 --> 00:23:48.432
 meant to just answer those
 
 00:23:48.452 --> 00:23:50.395
 questions to have a guide for people.
 
 00:23:50.997 --> 00:23:52.278
 And so to calm some of our
 
 00:23:52.298 --> 00:23:53.980
 anxieties as parents to say like,
 
 00:23:54.000 --> 00:23:55.061
 what's actually needed here.
 
 00:23:55.583 --> 00:23:56.743
 And what I found was the
 
 00:23:56.804 --> 00:23:57.885
 biggest thing that kids
 
 00:23:57.945 --> 00:23:59.488
 actually need is they need
 
 00:23:59.528 --> 00:24:00.489
 to explore this world.
 
 00:24:02.016 --> 00:24:03.998
 And unfortunately for us,
 
 00:24:04.479 --> 00:24:07.342
 exploration doesn't always look so nice.
 
 00:24:08.103 --> 00:24:09.263
 Exploration is messy.
 
 00:24:10.305 --> 00:24:11.846
 It looks like defiance sometimes.
 
 00:24:11.946 --> 00:24:13.647
 It looks like tantrums.
 
 00:24:13.728 --> 00:24:14.950
 It looks like big emotions,
 
 00:24:15.250 --> 00:24:16.371
 but it's all exploration.
 
 00:24:17.172 --> 00:24:17.833
 And then they need to be
 
 00:24:18.133 --> 00:24:19.574
 connected to a safe adult
 
 00:24:19.594 --> 00:24:21.435
 where they can explore what, I'm sorry,
 
 00:24:21.476 --> 00:24:22.718
 they can share what they
 
 00:24:22.778 --> 00:24:24.338
 found in their exploration.
 
 00:24:25.339 --> 00:24:27.041
 um and so that's really what
 
 00:24:27.402 --> 00:24:28.542
 the book is about and then
 
 00:24:28.643 --> 00:24:30.085
 also what I like people to
 
 00:24:30.144 --> 00:24:33.127
 know is that your your job
 
 00:24:33.188 --> 00:24:35.068
 and your goal um as a
 
 00:24:35.128 --> 00:24:36.089
 parent can just be as
 
 00:24:36.109 --> 00:24:38.011
 simple as that how do we
 
 00:24:38.172 --> 00:24:39.473
 look at things in a
 
 00:24:39.513 --> 00:24:40.835
 different mindset so we
 
 00:24:40.855 --> 00:24:41.556
 don't get personally
 
 00:24:41.576 --> 00:24:44.137
 offended and then also how
 
 00:24:44.178 --> 00:24:45.819
 do we be there in a place
 
 00:24:45.960 --> 00:24:47.922
 that's calm and supportive and safe
 
 00:24:48.521 --> 00:24:49.542
 to then help them kind of
 
 00:24:49.603 --> 00:24:50.983
 navigate what they've experienced.
 
 00:24:51.183 --> 00:24:51.904
 Yeah.
 
 00:24:51.964 --> 00:24:53.846
 You know, you're embarking on, you know,
 
 00:24:53.925 --> 00:24:56.768
 being a parent or you become a parent.
 
 00:24:57.489 --> 00:25:00.131
 It is very much like just a
 
 00:25:00.171 --> 00:25:01.392
 doorway for entry point
 
 00:25:01.471 --> 00:25:02.613
 into understanding your
 
 00:25:02.653 --> 00:25:04.433
 inner child or your inner teenager,
 
 00:25:04.534 --> 00:25:05.255
 even deeper,
 
 00:25:05.315 --> 00:25:05.835
 because then you're
 
 00:25:06.115 --> 00:25:06.955
 confronted with a
 
 00:25:07.016 --> 00:25:08.277
 reflection of it and that
 
 00:25:08.297 --> 00:25:09.798
 maybe it looks like you even.
 
 00:25:10.179 --> 00:25:11.038
 And so I think there's a lot
 
 00:25:11.078 --> 00:25:11.880
 of things that...
 
 00:25:12.000 --> 00:25:13.442
 that people can, like you said,
 
 00:25:13.741 --> 00:25:14.182
 they don't want to
 
 00:25:14.222 --> 00:25:15.163
 traumatize their own child.
 
 00:25:15.203 --> 00:25:17.968
 They get their own stuff that comes up.
 
 00:25:18.067 --> 00:25:19.409
 I have a seventeen year old.
 
 00:25:19.609 --> 00:25:21.612
 How many children do you have?
 
 00:25:21.692 --> 00:25:22.574
 I have one five year old.
 
 00:25:23.054 --> 00:25:23.394
 Okay.
 
 00:25:23.454 --> 00:25:25.738
 So yeah, he's at this age now where
 
 00:25:27.361 --> 00:25:29.201
 it is about, I've always let him explore,
 
 00:25:29.402 --> 00:25:31.343
 but it's now about letting
 
 00:25:31.383 --> 00:25:33.044
 him explore and make the
 
 00:25:33.064 --> 00:25:36.425
 decisions and like really just go,
 
 00:25:36.465 --> 00:25:37.666
 you do it, you do it,
 
 00:25:37.707 --> 00:25:38.446
 but I'm still going to have
 
 00:25:38.487 --> 00:25:39.428
 boundaries with you.
 
 00:25:39.728 --> 00:25:41.028
 I'm still going to treat you
 
 00:25:41.068 --> 00:25:42.750
 this way because this is how it is.
 
 00:25:42.769 --> 00:25:43.690
 This is a safe container.
 
 00:25:44.191 --> 00:25:44.611
 And that's,
 
 00:25:44.830 --> 00:25:46.852
 that's really something I think that he's,
 
 00:25:47.673 --> 00:25:48.613
 he's really flourished
 
 00:25:48.633 --> 00:25:50.354
 because of that ability to explore.
 
 00:25:50.574 --> 00:25:52.415
 And I love that you shared that because we,
 
 00:25:53.516 --> 00:25:54.436
 one of the other things he's,
 
 00:25:54.477 --> 00:25:55.297
 he's very sensitive.
 
 00:25:55.336 --> 00:25:56.377
 So if we would,
 
 00:25:57.818 --> 00:25:59.400
 if we would have, like,
 
 00:25:59.500 --> 00:26:00.480
 I know a lot of people talk
 
 00:26:00.500 --> 00:26:02.102
 about their children being sensitive,
 
 00:26:02.162 --> 00:26:03.742
 especially if they're also
 
 00:26:03.762 --> 00:26:04.703
 shamanic in nature or
 
 00:26:04.743 --> 00:26:05.525
 intuitive in nature.
 
 00:26:05.565 --> 00:26:06.404
 And he is as well.
 
 00:26:06.464 --> 00:26:07.605
 So raising a child that has
 
 00:26:07.625 --> 00:26:08.646
 a sensitive nervous system
 
 00:26:08.666 --> 00:26:10.709
 like that is also
 
 00:26:10.788 --> 00:26:11.388
 interesting because you
 
 00:26:11.409 --> 00:26:11.950
 don't want to give them a
 
 00:26:12.009 --> 00:26:13.750
 complex and be like, oh, by the way,
 
 00:26:14.351 --> 00:26:14.672
 do you, you know,
 
 00:26:14.751 --> 00:26:16.173
 are you experiencing these things?
 
 00:26:16.252 --> 00:26:16.492
 Like,
 
 00:26:17.233 --> 00:26:19.555
 and so watching him has been really
 
 00:26:19.595 --> 00:26:21.215
 beautiful to him finding his own
 
 00:26:22.116 --> 00:26:24.558
 anchor um so I'm kind of
 
 00:26:24.578 --> 00:26:25.539
 thinking about that and
 
 00:26:25.559 --> 00:26:28.362
 just curious you know with
 
 00:26:28.402 --> 00:26:29.682
 your childhood growing up
 
 00:26:29.863 --> 00:26:30.782
 having all that all your
 
 00:26:30.843 --> 00:26:32.064
 journey particularly for
 
 00:26:32.104 --> 00:26:34.026
 your own unique experiences
 
 00:26:34.385 --> 00:26:36.468
 do you feel that part of
 
 00:26:36.528 --> 00:26:39.210
 that primed you to have a
 
 00:26:39.269 --> 00:26:40.029
 nervous system that was
 
 00:26:40.170 --> 00:26:42.291
 more destined to work in
 
 00:26:42.311 --> 00:26:44.693
 the shamanic realm
 
 00:26:45.394 --> 00:26:47.375
 absolutely and I think
 
 00:26:47.415 --> 00:26:49.257
 we're all kind of of that um
 
 00:26:51.413 --> 00:26:52.335
 we should look at our
 
 00:26:52.355 --> 00:26:53.714
 childhoods and look at how
 
 00:26:53.734 --> 00:26:54.935
 they've gotten us to where
 
 00:26:54.955 --> 00:26:56.817
 we are now in positive ways,
 
 00:26:56.916 --> 00:26:57.917
 in ways that maybe we
 
 00:26:57.938 --> 00:26:59.098
 should look at a little deeper.
 
 00:27:00.279 --> 00:27:01.740
 So I write this in the book,
 
 00:27:01.779 --> 00:27:03.961
 but I did not feel connected as a child.
 
 00:27:04.321 --> 00:27:05.762
 My parents had divorced.
 
 00:27:06.063 --> 00:27:07.564
 I primarily lived with one
 
 00:27:07.604 --> 00:27:08.805
 parent and would visit the other.
 
 00:27:09.568 --> 00:27:10.589
 It didn't feel safe to
 
 00:27:10.630 --> 00:27:11.569
 connect with either one of
 
 00:27:11.589 --> 00:27:13.371
 them because it would offend the other.
 
 00:27:13.851 --> 00:27:14.832
 And so I just stayed kind of
 
 00:27:14.872 --> 00:27:16.071
 safe in the middle to myself.
 
 00:27:16.112 --> 00:27:17.553
 And that's where like the anxiety,
 
 00:27:18.513 --> 00:27:19.874
 just not wanting to be seen
 
 00:27:19.913 --> 00:27:21.234
 came from because it was safety.
 
 00:27:21.434 --> 00:27:23.076
 It was my way of staying safe.
 
 00:27:24.234 --> 00:27:26.416
 And so when I've worked with
 
 00:27:26.777 --> 00:27:27.576
 my inner parts,
 
 00:27:27.616 --> 00:27:28.778
 so that's another big part
 
 00:27:28.817 --> 00:27:30.618
 of shamanism and shamanic
 
 00:27:30.638 --> 00:27:31.338
 journeying is you're
 
 00:27:31.380 --> 00:27:33.340
 connecting with those parts.
 
 00:27:33.381 --> 00:27:35.521
 And so there's not just one inner child,
 
 00:27:36.021 --> 00:27:37.923
 there's, you know, sixty,
 
 00:27:37.942 --> 00:27:38.604
 there's a hundred,
 
 00:27:38.644 --> 00:27:40.404
 there's infinite amounts of
 
 00:27:40.765 --> 00:27:41.605
 parts of you that have
 
 00:27:41.665 --> 00:27:43.105
 experienced things and that
 
 00:27:43.125 --> 00:27:44.646
 need a little help processing it.
 
 00:27:46.413 --> 00:27:47.494
 When I look at my childhood,
 
 00:27:47.535 --> 00:27:48.596
 I didn't have that person.
 
 00:27:48.615 --> 00:27:49.896
 I didn't have the person
 
 00:27:50.076 --> 00:27:51.617
 that I could say like, hey,
 
 00:27:51.979 --> 00:27:53.539
 mom is this way or dad is this way.
 
 00:27:53.559 --> 00:27:54.421
 Like what's going on?
 
 00:27:54.480 --> 00:27:56.261
 And someone to be neutral and say like,
 
 00:27:56.642 --> 00:27:57.663
 this is what's happening.
 
 00:27:58.183 --> 00:27:59.345
 What do you think about it?
 
 00:27:59.484 --> 00:28:00.325
 And I loved how you talked
 
 00:28:00.345 --> 00:28:03.548
 about your son of cultivating the ability,
 
 00:28:03.627 --> 00:28:04.949
 even from a very young age,
 
 00:28:05.308 --> 00:28:06.569
 of what do you think about this?
 
 00:28:06.589 --> 00:28:06.670
 Yes.
 
 00:28:07.651 --> 00:28:09.732
 Do you have an impression of what this is?
 
 00:28:09.833 --> 00:28:10.894
 Does this make sense to you
 
 00:28:10.933 --> 00:28:11.835
 in this way or that way?
 
 00:28:12.634 --> 00:28:13.256
 And then, of course,
 
 00:28:13.296 --> 00:28:14.916
 you can you can input your information,
 
 00:28:14.957 --> 00:28:16.077
 but allowing them to lead
 
 00:28:16.118 --> 00:28:16.959
 with what they think is
 
 00:28:16.999 --> 00:28:18.140
 happening intuitively,
 
 00:28:18.180 --> 00:28:19.141
 what they think is happening,
 
 00:28:19.602 --> 00:28:21.242
 because kids are so good at that.
 
 00:28:21.683 --> 00:28:23.404
 Even if they don't fully understand,
 
 00:28:23.424 --> 00:28:24.605
 like the big concepts,
 
 00:28:24.645 --> 00:28:25.886
 they have a sense that when
 
 00:28:25.906 --> 00:28:27.469
 someone talks to them in a
 
 00:28:27.568 --> 00:28:29.069
 certain tone and they're
 
 00:28:29.109 --> 00:28:31.211
 saying nice things, but the tone is harsh,
 
 00:28:31.251 --> 00:28:31.873
 like they know.
 
 00:28:32.093 --> 00:28:32.313
 Yeah.
 
 00:28:32.353 --> 00:28:33.795
 And it's very confusing when
 
 00:28:33.835 --> 00:28:35.036
 someone tries to say, like, no,
 
 00:28:35.056 --> 00:28:35.615
 you don't know.
 
 00:28:35.817 --> 00:28:36.616
 I'm saying nice thing.
 
 00:28:36.676 --> 00:28:36.917
 Yes.
 
 00:28:37.038 --> 00:28:38.338
 No, you're using a tone.
 
 00:28:39.560 --> 00:28:41.983
 So yeah, and I talk about that too,
 
 00:28:42.003 --> 00:28:43.005
 just a way of like,
 
 00:28:43.125 --> 00:28:45.607
 so us as adults is being very congruent
 
 00:28:46.713 --> 00:28:47.575
 And healing the things that
 
 00:28:47.615 --> 00:28:48.355
 we need to heal.
 
 00:28:48.776 --> 00:28:50.277
 And I've had the privilege
 
 00:28:50.317 --> 00:28:51.498
 of working with a ton of
 
 00:28:51.978 --> 00:28:53.398
 folks in our ones.
 
 00:28:54.078 --> 00:28:56.480
 And it's very similar things
 
 00:28:56.500 --> 00:28:58.082
 that kids needed that they
 
 00:28:58.122 --> 00:28:59.682
 needed as children at that time.
 
 00:28:59.843 --> 00:29:00.824
 You know, they're three-year-olds,
 
 00:29:00.844 --> 00:29:01.585
 they're five-year-olds,
 
 00:29:01.605 --> 00:29:02.384
 they're eight-year-olds.
 
 00:29:03.566 --> 00:29:05.547
 And it most often comes down
 
 00:29:05.907 --> 00:29:07.729
 to somebody needed to say
 
 00:29:07.788 --> 00:29:08.809
 something to them to make
 
 00:29:08.829 --> 00:29:10.049
 them understand what was going on.
 
 00:29:10.111 --> 00:29:10.490
 Yes.
 
 00:29:11.327 --> 00:29:12.229
 And it wasn't there.
 
 00:29:12.349 --> 00:29:14.292
 And so they came up with their own ideas.
 
 00:29:14.413 --> 00:29:15.094
 And when you come up with
 
 00:29:15.114 --> 00:29:16.336
 your own ideas as a child,
 
 00:29:16.476 --> 00:29:17.217
 you're the problem.
 
 00:29:17.478 --> 00:29:17.817
 Yes.
 
 00:29:18.058 --> 00:29:19.039
 You must be because that's
 
 00:29:19.059 --> 00:29:19.800
 the only thing you have.
 
 00:29:20.509 --> 00:29:20.808
 Yeah.
 
 00:29:20.848 --> 00:29:21.970
 That was, that's so interesting.
 
 00:29:21.990 --> 00:29:24.510
 Cause my son always said, you know,
 
 00:29:25.471 --> 00:29:26.271
 why does everyone talk to
 
 00:29:26.291 --> 00:29:27.073
 me like I'm a baby?
 
 00:29:27.413 --> 00:29:28.634
 Why does everyone, you know,
 
 00:29:28.854 --> 00:29:29.954
 use that baby tone or when,
 
 00:29:30.134 --> 00:29:31.414
 when adults come up to you, like, Oh,
 
 00:29:31.434 --> 00:29:32.476
 look how cute you are.
 
 00:29:32.516 --> 00:29:33.777
 And, you know, he's like, why?
 
 00:29:33.896 --> 00:29:35.518
 And he would get very upset and he goes,
 
 00:29:36.038 --> 00:29:36.637
 I don't like you.
 
 00:29:36.657 --> 00:29:37.679
 And he would just be very like,
 
 00:29:37.898 --> 00:29:38.559
 you just run away.
 
 00:29:38.579 --> 00:29:39.720
 He's like, he's very fiery.
 
 00:29:39.740 --> 00:29:40.461
 And he was like, no.
 
 00:29:40.540 --> 00:29:42.561
 And I, I had some people say, you know,
 
 00:29:42.922 --> 00:29:43.982
 There's definitely content
 
 00:29:44.002 --> 00:29:44.824
 that you want to share or
 
 00:29:44.844 --> 00:29:45.984
 not share with your child
 
 00:29:46.045 --> 00:29:46.865
 that's appropriate for
 
 00:29:46.884 --> 00:29:47.826
 their age development.
 
 00:29:48.205 --> 00:29:49.547
 But we were very honest and
 
 00:29:49.787 --> 00:29:50.407
 direct with him.
 
 00:29:50.627 --> 00:29:51.989
 This is what you're
 
 00:29:52.009 --> 00:29:53.569
 perceiving or this is what's going on.
 
 00:29:53.630 --> 00:29:55.531
 And I think that helped him.
 
 00:29:56.913 --> 00:29:57.753
 In his high school years,
 
 00:29:57.773 --> 00:29:59.795
 I think he's been able to now see,
 
 00:29:59.815 --> 00:30:00.256
 like you said,
 
 00:30:00.296 --> 00:30:01.717
 when someone is not being
 
 00:30:01.777 --> 00:30:02.717
 honest or authentic or
 
 00:30:02.757 --> 00:30:04.179
 truthful or something else is going on,
 
 00:30:04.219 --> 00:30:06.039
 it's not gaslighting them and be like, oh,
 
 00:30:06.079 --> 00:30:07.000
 you don't really know.
 
 00:30:07.401 --> 00:30:08.122
 Because I think a lot of us
 
 00:30:08.162 --> 00:30:10.646
 as adults have given up that inner voice,
 
 00:30:10.666 --> 00:30:11.768
 that inner intuition that
 
 00:30:11.848 --> 00:30:13.151
 is innate there as a child.
 
 00:30:13.411 --> 00:30:14.753
 We give it up because we're like, well,
 
 00:30:14.794 --> 00:30:17.218
 we're supposed to, this is saying this.
 
 00:30:17.258 --> 00:30:18.980
 And it all starts in those teenage years,
 
 00:30:19.000 --> 00:30:19.101
 right?
 
 00:30:20.421 --> 00:30:20.980
 Absolutely.
 
 00:30:21.280 --> 00:30:22.221
 And that's one of the
 
 00:30:22.261 --> 00:30:23.001
 biggest things I've healed
 
 00:30:23.041 --> 00:30:24.301
 in the past couple of years is that,
 
 00:30:24.742 --> 00:30:26.782
 is can I trust my own view
 
 00:30:26.923 --> 00:30:28.304
 and intuition and thoughts?
 
 00:30:28.324 --> 00:30:30.824
 And that's been huge.
 
 00:30:30.864 --> 00:30:31.484
 It's one of those things
 
 00:30:31.525 --> 00:30:33.744
 that you can't heal when you're, you know,
 
 00:30:33.785 --> 00:30:35.385
 twenty three because you
 
 00:30:35.405 --> 00:30:36.905
 just don't have the other
 
 00:30:36.945 --> 00:30:37.946
 building blocks to even get
 
 00:30:37.967 --> 00:30:38.527
 to that point.
 
 00:30:39.307 --> 00:30:39.886
 And so that's what I'm
 
 00:30:39.906 --> 00:30:43.428
 trying to foster now is trust yourself.
 
 00:30:43.448 --> 00:30:45.169
 So people will say things because
 
 00:30:45.648 --> 00:30:46.209
 That's okay.
 
 00:30:46.269 --> 00:30:46.509
 You know,
 
 00:30:46.548 --> 00:30:47.450
 they have their own stuff that
 
 00:30:47.470 --> 00:30:48.369
 they're doing.
 
 00:30:49.170 --> 00:30:50.029
 They have their own stuff
 
 00:30:50.049 --> 00:30:50.830
 that they need to heal,
 
 00:30:51.131 --> 00:30:51.711
 their own things that
 
 00:30:51.730 --> 00:30:52.570
 they're trying to figure out.
 
 00:30:52.990 --> 00:30:55.011
 And so you, above all people,
 
 00:30:55.071 --> 00:30:55.892
 can trust yourself.
 
 00:30:55.932 --> 00:30:56.672
 And I think that that's like
 
 00:30:56.692 --> 00:30:57.833
 the biggest gift you can
 
 00:30:57.853 --> 00:30:59.853
 give a kid is to trust yourself.
 
 00:31:00.133 --> 00:31:00.713
 Absolutely.
 
 00:31:00.953 --> 00:31:01.634
 I completely agree.
 
 00:31:01.653 --> 00:31:02.554
 That's the most empowering
 
 00:31:02.594 --> 00:31:04.775
 thing that I hope for any
 
 00:31:04.835 --> 00:31:05.575
 person out there that's
 
 00:31:05.615 --> 00:31:06.634
 doing healing work in this
 
 00:31:06.674 --> 00:31:07.976
 world in any capacity that
 
 00:31:08.615 --> 00:31:10.617
 helping people to point
 
 00:31:10.657 --> 00:31:12.180
 signs and directional like
 
 00:31:12.339 --> 00:31:13.320
 to you know you're a
 
 00:31:13.340 --> 00:31:14.583
 facilitator helping them to
 
 00:31:14.623 --> 00:31:15.103
 come to their own
 
 00:31:15.143 --> 00:31:15.943
 conclusions because I think
 
 00:31:15.963 --> 00:31:17.005
 that's the best thing that
 
 00:31:17.486 --> 00:31:18.646
 if all of a sudden tomorrow
 
 00:31:19.166 --> 00:31:20.008
 everyone had their lights
 
 00:31:20.048 --> 00:31:20.929
 turned on in a way where
 
 00:31:20.969 --> 00:31:21.809
 they had this direct
 
 00:31:21.829 --> 00:31:22.490
 connection with their own
 
 00:31:22.530 --> 00:31:24.173
 intuition their own source
 
 00:31:24.192 --> 00:31:25.013
 whatever they want to call
 
 00:31:25.074 --> 00:31:25.875
 it they want to call it a
 
 00:31:25.894 --> 00:31:27.757
 higher power whatever it is that knowing
 
 00:31:28.814 --> 00:31:29.473
 that truth,
 
 00:31:29.795 --> 00:31:31.434
 I think that things would be a
 
 00:31:31.474 --> 00:31:32.435
 lot different and that's an
 
 00:31:32.556 --> 00:31:33.615
 idealistic world, right?
 
 00:31:33.696 --> 00:31:35.037
 But people would be living
 
 00:31:35.557 --> 00:31:36.518
 more in their purpose.
 
 00:31:36.597 --> 00:31:37.979
 They'd be able to ask
 
 00:31:38.038 --> 00:31:38.719
 questions and then of
 
 00:31:38.739 --> 00:31:39.839
 course still reach out when they,
 
 00:31:40.220 --> 00:31:40.720
 you know, get,
 
 00:31:40.740 --> 00:31:42.221
 you get connected and you
 
 00:31:42.260 --> 00:31:43.402
 get biased sometimes when
 
 00:31:43.422 --> 00:31:44.842
 you're too emotionally attached to things,
 
 00:31:45.221 --> 00:31:45.702
 but it would be,
 
 00:31:45.762 --> 00:31:46.282
 it would be a very
 
 00:31:46.323 --> 00:31:47.663
 different world if we had
 
 00:31:47.963 --> 00:31:49.585
 that type of empowerment going on.
 
 00:31:50.045 --> 00:31:50.144
 Well,
 
 00:31:50.164 --> 00:31:51.586
 what have you learned as a parent
 
 00:31:51.625 --> 00:31:52.246
 that you wish you would
 
 00:31:52.266 --> 00:31:53.666
 have learned or known years ago?
 
 00:31:54.500 --> 00:31:55.200
 There's this thing that
 
 00:31:55.220 --> 00:31:57.521
 happens where you
 
 00:31:57.582 --> 00:31:59.143
 disconnect from things that
 
 00:31:59.343 --> 00:32:01.243
 seem like a threat or seem
 
 00:32:02.284 --> 00:32:03.384
 hard or harmful.
 
 00:32:04.484 --> 00:32:05.365
 And so if you come from a
 
 00:32:05.405 --> 00:32:06.967
 history of trauma, like I have,
 
 00:32:07.507 --> 00:32:08.247
 many of us have,
 
 00:32:09.647 --> 00:32:11.348
 one of the skills is to disconnect.
 
 00:32:12.329 --> 00:32:13.349
 And we do this with everything.
 
 00:32:13.390 --> 00:32:13.970
 It's not just our
 
 00:32:13.990 --> 00:32:15.010
 relationship with our children,
 
 00:32:15.030 --> 00:32:16.271
 it's relationship with our spouses,
 
 00:32:16.332 --> 00:32:19.472
 our relationship with our parents,
 
 00:32:19.512 --> 00:32:20.814
 with our friends, our community.
 
 00:32:23.288 --> 00:32:25.148
 That's the biggest thing is
 
 00:32:25.209 --> 00:32:27.289
 learning how to see
 
 00:32:27.349 --> 00:32:27.910
 something that's
 
 00:32:27.950 --> 00:32:29.090
 challenging and not
 
 00:32:29.171 --> 00:32:30.531
 emotionally disconnect from it,
 
 00:32:31.132 --> 00:32:34.313
 to not retreat and go back
 
 00:32:34.374 --> 00:32:36.815
 into a place of fear and
 
 00:32:36.835 --> 00:32:39.336
 potentially there's other
 
 00:32:39.395 --> 00:32:40.497
 emotions within there.
 
 00:32:40.836 --> 00:32:41.557
 And it doesn't,
 
 00:32:41.717 --> 00:32:42.877
 I'm not saying it like we
 
 00:32:42.897 --> 00:32:44.258
 have to be so loving all the time,
 
 00:32:44.298 --> 00:32:45.459
 because that's not what it looks like,
 
 00:32:45.939 --> 00:32:47.059
 but it's an understanding
 
 00:32:47.079 --> 00:32:48.820
 that you're safe even when
 
 00:32:48.861 --> 00:32:49.961
 people are doing things or
 
 00:32:50.000 --> 00:32:51.162
 saying things that you don't like.
 
 00:32:51.960 --> 00:32:52.560
 And so it's that
 
 00:32:52.621 --> 00:32:54.961
 understanding that my wellness, my heart,
 
 00:32:55.001 --> 00:32:59.086
 my soul, my worthiness is all okay.
 
 00:32:59.786 --> 00:33:00.826
 Even when I have a
 
 00:33:00.886 --> 00:33:01.748
 five-year-old having a
 
 00:33:01.788 --> 00:33:02.949
 tantrum in the middle of the store.
 
 00:33:03.775 --> 00:33:04.194
 Yes.
 
 00:33:04.675 --> 00:33:08.419
 I think that the emotional constipation,
 
 00:33:08.459 --> 00:33:09.419
 if I want to call it that,
 
 00:33:10.119 --> 00:33:12.481
 which is a lot of times the
 
 00:33:12.521 --> 00:33:15.203
 inability to express deep emotion, anger,
 
 00:33:15.284 --> 00:33:16.545
 fear, sadness,
 
 00:33:16.904 --> 00:33:18.105
 that I think is what drives
 
 00:33:18.165 --> 00:33:19.507
 all these types of
 
 00:33:19.567 --> 00:33:21.548
 behaviors that are avoidance.
 
 00:33:22.869 --> 00:33:25.632
 Like you said, alcohol could be substances,
 
 00:33:25.692 --> 00:33:26.873
 it could be sex, whatever it is.
 
 00:33:27.653 --> 00:33:29.816
 And I think if we were given
 
 00:33:29.855 --> 00:33:30.516
 permission when we were
 
 00:33:30.556 --> 00:33:32.057
 younger to feel those
 
 00:33:32.097 --> 00:33:33.199
 emotions and shown and
 
 00:33:33.239 --> 00:33:34.359
 modeled in a healthy way,
 
 00:33:34.681 --> 00:33:36.102
 because a lot of us, even myself,
 
 00:33:36.281 --> 00:33:38.144
 you know, part of my journey is my son,
 
 00:33:39.025 --> 00:33:39.705
 you know, I have,
 
 00:33:40.406 --> 00:33:41.146
 I have felt like I've been
 
 00:33:41.207 --> 00:33:42.709
 born in this world with
 
 00:33:42.749 --> 00:33:44.089
 from the brethren family,
 
 00:33:44.109 --> 00:33:45.672
 the ancestors in which I come from,
 
 00:33:45.932 --> 00:33:46.653
 that didn't have the
 
 00:33:46.673 --> 00:33:48.174
 ability to express deep emotion.
 
 00:33:49.174 --> 00:33:50.675
 There wasn't time and there
 
 00:33:50.695 --> 00:33:51.776
 was survival needs.
 
 00:33:51.855 --> 00:33:54.297
 I live in a home that we
 
 00:33:54.317 --> 00:33:55.258
 have five generations of
 
 00:33:55.298 --> 00:33:55.998
 people that lived in the
 
 00:33:56.038 --> 00:33:57.459
 same home and they all were
 
 00:33:57.499 --> 00:33:59.098
 women who were widowed.
 
 00:33:59.138 --> 00:34:01.019
 As a medium,
 
 00:34:01.059 --> 00:34:02.300
 so much of the grief that I
 
 00:34:02.340 --> 00:34:03.381
 processed for them
 
 00:34:03.921 --> 00:34:05.701
 consciously and unconsciously,
 
 00:34:05.741 --> 00:34:06.781
 but when it became consciously,
 
 00:34:06.821 --> 00:34:07.762
 it was so beautiful.
 
 00:34:08.824 --> 00:34:11.945
 to be like, okay, this is a thing.
 
 00:34:12.025 --> 00:34:13.306
 And I think a lot of people
 
 00:34:13.347 --> 00:34:14.467
 get very uncomfortable.
 
 00:34:14.907 --> 00:34:15.588
 And there's definitely a
 
 00:34:15.608 --> 00:34:16.809
 time and space when you can
 
 00:34:16.849 --> 00:34:17.969
 express your own emotions
 
 00:34:18.110 --> 00:34:20.050
 and showing to a child what
 
 00:34:20.090 --> 00:34:21.572
 it can look like in a healthy way.
 
 00:34:22.092 --> 00:34:23.833
 And what I was challenged
 
 00:34:23.853 --> 00:34:24.494
 with when my son was
 
 00:34:24.534 --> 00:34:27.135
 younger was I was like, yes,
 
 00:34:27.175 --> 00:34:28.317
 it's okay to be angry.
 
 00:34:28.617 --> 00:34:29.918
 But then when he would go out into public,
 
 00:34:29.958 --> 00:34:32.079
 because he's so, he's at an intense,
 
 00:34:32.579 --> 00:34:34.501
 he has like this Leo energy
 
 00:34:34.541 --> 00:34:35.141
 where he's big.
 
 00:34:36.041 --> 00:34:37.483
 And that big energy,
 
 00:34:37.943 --> 00:34:39.003
 other adults who have not
 
 00:34:39.043 --> 00:34:40.463
 done their own healing work,
 
 00:34:41.023 --> 00:34:43.023
 especially in daycares and schools,
 
 00:34:43.043 --> 00:34:43.764
 you're shaking your head.
 
 00:34:44.085 --> 00:34:44.724
 Holy cow.
 
 00:34:46.585 --> 00:34:47.545
 It's actually a trigger for
 
 00:34:47.565 --> 00:34:49.067
 them for their own inner stuff.
 
 00:34:50.067 --> 00:34:50.907
 And what's been very
 
 00:34:50.947 --> 00:34:51.987
 fascinating and somewhat
 
 00:34:52.027 --> 00:34:53.708
 challenging as a parent of
 
 00:34:53.748 --> 00:34:55.309
 being aware of this going,
 
 00:34:56.429 --> 00:34:58.030
 He gets shut down in school and like,
 
 00:34:58.050 --> 00:34:59.150
 this is not something,
 
 00:34:59.949 --> 00:35:00.789
 this is not healthy.
 
 00:35:01.110 --> 00:35:03.010
 And he's trying his best and
 
 00:35:03.030 --> 00:35:05.010
 he's actually doing a really good job.
 
 00:35:05.552 --> 00:35:07.152
 And everyone else is the one that are,
 
 00:35:07.431 --> 00:35:07.891
 you know,
 
 00:35:07.972 --> 00:35:09.072
 emotionally constipated and
 
 00:35:09.092 --> 00:35:09.833
 they're not aware.
 
 00:35:10.152 --> 00:35:11.432
 So I'm curious of how you
 
 00:35:11.452 --> 00:35:12.393
 dealt with that or the
 
 00:35:12.413 --> 00:35:13.233
 challenges with that with
 
 00:35:13.253 --> 00:35:15.034
 having a five-year-old and having,
 
 00:35:15.134 --> 00:35:15.534
 I'm sure,
 
 00:35:15.614 --> 00:35:17.715
 other adults who aren't as aware
 
 00:35:17.735 --> 00:35:18.514
 and have gone through some
 
 00:35:18.534 --> 00:35:20.376
 of their own journey.
 
 00:35:20.496 --> 00:35:21.315
 How you've dealt with that?
 
 00:35:22.661 --> 00:35:22.862
 Right.
 
 00:35:23.501 --> 00:35:24.623
 One of the big things for me
 
 00:35:24.862 --> 00:35:29.144
 is just holding two things as truth.
 
 00:35:29.764 --> 00:35:31.266
 There's nothing wrong with my son.
 
 00:35:32.445 --> 00:35:33.686
 And I just want to make sure
 
 00:35:33.726 --> 00:35:34.646
 that people do that with
 
 00:35:34.666 --> 00:35:35.367
 their own children.
 
 00:35:36.007 --> 00:35:37.427
 There's nothing wrong with them.
 
 00:35:38.608 --> 00:35:39.708
 Part of the work that I did
 
 00:35:41.077 --> 00:35:43.117
 Prior to going back into private practices,
 
 00:35:43.179 --> 00:35:45.460
 I worked in community-based
 
 00:35:45.501 --> 00:35:46.681
 therapy in people's homes.
 
 00:35:46.762 --> 00:35:48.923
 And so these children had conduct disorder,
 
 00:35:48.983 --> 00:35:50.565
 they had oppositional defiant disorder.
 
 00:35:50.585 --> 00:35:54.088
 And I saw a lot of common themes.
 
 00:35:54.327 --> 00:35:55.608
 And one of the common themes
 
 00:35:55.648 --> 00:35:57.670
 was at around five years old,
 
 00:35:58.692 --> 00:35:59.932
 they started to have defiant
 
 00:35:59.952 --> 00:36:02.635
 behavior and the parent
 
 00:36:02.695 --> 00:36:03.677
 never really stopped
 
 00:36:03.717 --> 00:36:05.398
 talking about that defiant behavior.
 
 00:36:05.438 --> 00:36:06.280
 They never really stopped
 
 00:36:06.300 --> 00:36:07.081
 talking about what was
 
 00:36:07.141 --> 00:36:08.141
 wrong with their child.
 
 00:36:08.742 --> 00:36:10.364
 And so even then at fifteen,
 
 00:36:11.025 --> 00:36:12.467
 there's something wrong with my child.
 
 00:36:13.047 --> 00:36:14.949
 And I just imagine what that
 
 00:36:15.009 --> 00:36:16.851
 does to their inner ones, to their parts.
 
 00:36:18.266 --> 00:36:19.907
 And so I want to make sure that, again,
 
 00:36:20.327 --> 00:36:22.009
 there is something that happens at five.
 
 00:36:23.010 --> 00:36:23.630
 There's some brain
 
 00:36:23.650 --> 00:36:25.512
 development that goes into, you know,
 
 00:36:25.711 --> 00:36:26.833
 executive functioning.
 
 00:36:27.152 --> 00:36:28.313
 We're getting out of, you know,
 
 00:36:28.353 --> 00:36:29.474
 the hind brain into the
 
 00:36:29.514 --> 00:36:31.657
 midbrain where there's big emotions.
 
 00:36:31.737 --> 00:36:33.119
 And so it is a challenging time,
 
 00:36:33.898 --> 00:36:34.659
 but that's because their
 
 00:36:34.699 --> 00:36:35.641
 brain's developing.
 
 00:36:36.141 --> 00:36:38.003
 Like it makes, it's totally inappropriate.
 
 00:36:38.023 --> 00:36:38.804
 It totally makes sense.
 
 00:36:39.224 --> 00:36:40.364
 So I'm very cautious about
 
 00:36:40.425 --> 00:36:41.626
 how I talk about things
 
 00:36:41.985 --> 00:36:43.588
 that he is well and good
 
 00:36:43.608 --> 00:36:44.949
 and kind and all of these things.
 
 00:36:46.092 --> 00:36:46.172
 Well,
 
 00:36:46.193 --> 00:36:48.173
 I think that you're on a roll here
 
 00:36:48.213 --> 00:36:50.233
 with validating that
 
 00:36:50.253 --> 00:36:51.353
 they're absolutely fine.
 
 00:36:51.634 --> 00:36:54.914
 The diagnosis is necessary
 
 00:36:54.974 --> 00:36:57.014
 for insurance purposes only, folks.
 
 00:36:57.815 --> 00:36:59.195
 It's really important to remember that,
 
 00:36:59.315 --> 00:37:00.416
 even for your own.
 
 00:37:00.456 --> 00:37:01.695
 Some people are like, oh my gosh,
 
 00:37:01.775 --> 00:37:03.135
 I finally have this diagnosis.
 
 00:37:03.195 --> 00:37:04.617
 Now I know that I have ADHD.
 
 00:37:04.657 --> 00:37:05.697
 It's so validating for me.
 
 00:37:05.717 --> 00:37:06.617
 This is what's quote unquote
 
 00:37:06.637 --> 00:37:07.157
 wrong with me.
 
 00:37:07.577 --> 00:37:08.577
 And I always caution people
 
 00:37:08.597 --> 00:37:09.498
 like that's some symptoms,
 
 00:37:09.518 --> 00:37:10.057
 but it doesn't mean it
 
 00:37:10.077 --> 00:37:11.338
 can't go away with healing.
 
 00:37:11.717 --> 00:37:13.219
 Because we talked about this
 
 00:37:13.239 --> 00:37:14.059
 in other episodes,
 
 00:37:14.119 --> 00:37:16.280
 but I just think that that
 
 00:37:16.400 --> 00:37:17.500
 complex that you can get as
 
 00:37:17.519 --> 00:37:19.141
 an adult or a child with
 
 00:37:19.161 --> 00:37:21.041
 these disorder type labels,
 
 00:37:21.061 --> 00:37:23.521
 they're just a
 
 00:37:23.541 --> 00:37:24.802
 conglomeration of symptoms.
 
 00:37:25.523 --> 00:37:26.722
 Until you go into school, you're like,
 
 00:37:26.742 --> 00:37:28.364
 the DSM is a joke to a lot
 
 00:37:28.403 --> 00:37:30.005
 of people in the psychology field.
 
 00:37:30.045 --> 00:37:30.565
 They don't know that.
 
 00:37:31.445 --> 00:37:32.246
 And it's just,
 
 00:37:32.326 --> 00:37:33.807
 it's an easy way to describe something.
 
 00:37:33.869 --> 00:37:35.110
 So instead of listing off
 
 00:37:35.130 --> 00:37:36.010
 these twelve symptoms,
 
 00:37:36.072 --> 00:37:37.092
 I just say this one word.
 
 00:37:37.492 --> 00:37:37.693
 Yeah.
 
 00:37:37.934 --> 00:37:39.155
 So it's not an identity.
 
 00:37:39.195 --> 00:37:39.996
 It's not something that has
 
 00:37:40.056 --> 00:37:41.018
 to stick forever because
 
 00:37:41.038 --> 00:37:42.599
 the symptoms and the
 
 00:37:42.619 --> 00:37:43.942
 symptoms are just a product
 
 00:37:44.101 --> 00:37:45.744
 of the struggle of the
 
 00:37:45.784 --> 00:37:46.846
 things that need to be healed.
 
 00:37:46.945 --> 00:37:48.068
 And so that's all that's there, too.
 
 00:37:48.871 --> 00:37:50.672
 And I think the,
 
 00:37:50.751 --> 00:37:51.532
 I always find it really
 
 00:37:51.572 --> 00:37:52.873
 fascinating when you dive into,
 
 00:37:52.893 --> 00:37:54.094
 there's so many different modalities,
 
 00:37:54.173 --> 00:37:56.675
 but one of the modalities
 
 00:37:56.715 --> 00:37:57.615
 that has been kind of
 
 00:37:57.755 --> 00:37:59.277
 foundational for the
 
 00:37:59.356 --> 00:38:01.518
 self-help personal development field,
 
 00:38:01.918 --> 00:38:02.777
 especially Hay House
 
 00:38:02.818 --> 00:38:04.239
 Publishing was Louise Hay's book,
 
 00:38:04.259 --> 00:38:05.139
 You Can Heal Your Life,
 
 00:38:05.679 --> 00:38:06.539
 which is kind of based out
 
 00:38:06.559 --> 00:38:07.800
 of cognitive behavioral therapy.
 
 00:38:07.880 --> 00:38:08.581
 You're looking at your
 
 00:38:08.621 --> 00:38:09.402
 thought patterns and
 
 00:38:09.822 --> 00:38:11.543
 replacing them and you know
 
 00:38:11.882 --> 00:38:13.503
 she says that the thor core
 
 00:38:13.523 --> 00:38:14.704
 belief that we all carry is
 
 00:38:14.724 --> 00:38:16.224
 that we're not enough that
 
 00:38:16.244 --> 00:38:17.563
 we're not lovable that some
 
 00:38:17.603 --> 00:38:19.704
 form of not enoughness is
 
 00:38:19.804 --> 00:38:22.346
 kind of in all of us and we
 
 00:38:22.365 --> 00:38:23.985
 got to do our work already
 
 00:38:24.445 --> 00:38:25.646
 you know to overcome those
 
 00:38:25.706 --> 00:38:27.306
 unconscious beliefs that
 
 00:38:27.347 --> 00:38:28.967
 that is true versus these
 
 00:38:29.047 --> 00:38:29.887
 ones that are being labeled
 
 00:38:29.927 --> 00:38:32.148
 by doctors right and so
 
 00:38:32.168 --> 00:38:32.949
 that's the other thing that
 
 00:38:32.969 --> 00:38:33.889
 I lost there for a second
 
 00:38:33.909 --> 00:38:36.250
 that came back um I try
 
 00:38:36.269 --> 00:38:37.750
 really hard to choose him
 
 00:38:38.391 --> 00:38:39.231
 over other people
 
 00:38:40.289 --> 00:38:42.213
 And so to choose his,
 
 00:38:42.393 --> 00:38:44.777
 and I by no means let my
 
 00:38:44.817 --> 00:38:46.900
 child be unruly or disrespectful.
 
 00:38:47.442 --> 00:38:48.063
 However,
 
 00:38:48.623 --> 00:38:49.804
 if someone is going to say
 
 00:38:49.846 --> 00:38:51.547
 something about him as a human,
 
 00:38:52.048 --> 00:38:54.994
 I'm going to protect that at all costs.
 
 00:38:55.697 --> 00:38:57.557
 that he is not labeled in some way,
 
 00:38:57.637 --> 00:39:00.099
 that he is not made to be
 
 00:39:00.199 --> 00:39:01.938
 smaller from what you call
 
 00:39:02.300 --> 00:39:03.900
 the emotional diarrhea or
 
 00:39:03.940 --> 00:39:06.561
 the trigger that some adult
 
 00:39:06.641 --> 00:39:07.581
 is going through that they
 
 00:39:07.601 --> 00:39:09.141
 don't fully understand that
 
 00:39:09.181 --> 00:39:10.202
 it's just their trigger.
 
 00:39:10.623 --> 00:39:11.922
 I'm gonna help him
 
 00:39:12.043 --> 00:39:13.324
 understand that he doesn't
 
 00:39:13.384 --> 00:39:14.903
 have to compromise or
 
 00:39:14.943 --> 00:39:16.945
 sacrifice himself for that
 
 00:39:17.005 --> 00:39:17.724
 person's comfort.
 
 00:39:17.885 --> 00:39:19.266
 Because I know that we've
 
 00:39:19.365 --> 00:39:20.865
 all probably been in those
 
 00:39:20.907 --> 00:39:21.967
 situations as children.
 
 00:39:22.842 --> 00:39:23.682
 And it's not going away as
 
 00:39:23.702 --> 00:39:24.543
 an adult either.
 
 00:39:25.304 --> 00:39:25.903
 As an adult,
 
 00:39:25.943 --> 00:39:26.965
 we still will interact with
 
 00:39:27.025 --> 00:39:30.626
 people who have been
 
 00:39:30.666 --> 00:39:31.967
 triggered by us or project
 
 00:39:32.007 --> 00:39:33.009
 onto us or there's
 
 00:39:33.028 --> 00:39:34.309
 something going on that if
 
 00:39:34.329 --> 00:39:36.170
 we have more awareness of ourselves and
 
 00:39:36.800 --> 00:39:38.402
 anchoring and tethering to who we are,
 
 00:39:38.842 --> 00:39:40.184
 we can still be, you know,
 
 00:39:40.403 --> 00:39:42.606
 kind and considerate and have boundaries,
 
 00:39:42.626 --> 00:39:45.309
 but it teaches them to not, to not,
 
 00:39:45.469 --> 00:39:46.208
 you know, other people,
 
 00:39:46.228 --> 00:39:48.170
 the four agreements is so much how I love,
 
 00:39:48.190 --> 00:39:49.231
 I love the four agreements
 
 00:39:49.271 --> 00:39:50.612
 because it's just how we lead,
 
 00:39:50.652 --> 00:39:51.554
 how we run our clinic.
 
 00:39:51.574 --> 00:39:53.516
 And it's like, don't make assumptions.
 
 00:39:53.536 --> 00:39:54.817
 Don't take the first thing personally.
 
 00:39:54.836 --> 00:39:55.818
 And that's so important
 
 00:39:55.838 --> 00:39:57.139
 because if you can hold onto that,
 
 00:39:57.318 --> 00:39:59.882
 you are so much better off.
 
 00:39:59.902 --> 00:40:00.041
 Yeah.
 
 00:40:00.101 --> 00:40:00.242
 Yeah.
 
 00:40:01.121 --> 00:40:03.222
 Well, what tips do you have for parents or,
 
 00:40:03.402 --> 00:40:03.601
 you know,
 
 00:40:03.621 --> 00:40:06.043
 those who do have children in their lives,
 
 00:40:06.543 --> 00:40:07.923
 whether they're an aunt or an uncle,
 
 00:40:07.983 --> 00:40:08.704
 or they just, you know,
 
 00:40:08.744 --> 00:40:09.965
 have a brief interaction
 
 00:40:10.005 --> 00:40:11.025
 with the children in general?
 
 00:40:11.666 --> 00:40:11.925
 Yeah.
 
 00:40:12.726 --> 00:40:14.067
 So that's why I like this book too.
 
 00:40:14.867 --> 00:40:15.807
 So just to give,
 
 00:40:16.088 --> 00:40:16.967
 just to give this kind of
 
 00:40:16.987 --> 00:40:17.989
 like backstory is,
 
 00:40:18.349 --> 00:40:20.050
 so this book was all created from
 
 00:40:20.690 --> 00:40:21.590
 shamanic journeying.
 
 00:40:21.911 --> 00:40:23.931
 And so I really see it as its own thing.
 
 00:40:24.112 --> 00:40:25.432
 Like, again, we're talking about animism,
 
 00:40:25.472 --> 00:40:26.152
 it's its own thing.
 
 00:40:26.452 --> 00:40:27.373
 And so sometimes I talk
 
 00:40:27.393 --> 00:40:28.193
 about it's not my book,
 
 00:40:28.233 --> 00:40:29.094
 it's its own thing.
 
 00:40:29.135 --> 00:40:30.896
 So when I say like, I love this book,
 
 00:40:30.936 --> 00:40:32.436
 that's why I say that.
 
 00:40:32.996 --> 00:40:34.797
 It's because it is meant for
 
 00:40:35.597 --> 00:40:35.838
 You know,
 
 00:40:35.878 --> 00:40:36.938
 the aunts and the uncles and the
 
 00:40:36.958 --> 00:40:37.500
 grandparents.
 
 00:40:37.519 --> 00:40:40.181
 So one of the things my
 
 00:40:40.222 --> 00:40:41.101
 parents read the book and
 
 00:40:41.161 --> 00:40:41.983
 one of the things they both
 
 00:40:42.023 --> 00:40:43.224
 said was it helped them
 
 00:40:43.304 --> 00:40:44.844
 know what kids are needing
 
 00:40:45.905 --> 00:40:46.826
 for their grandkids.
 
 00:40:47.347 --> 00:40:50.708
 And so the thing is really those safe,
 
 00:40:50.768 --> 00:40:52.010
 secure people.
 
 00:40:52.451 --> 00:40:55.193
 So it's less about like, you know,
 
 00:40:55.233 --> 00:40:56.653
 all the lessons that you're teaching,
 
 00:40:56.673 --> 00:40:57.815
 which are helpful in some ways,
 
 00:40:57.855 --> 00:40:59.115
 but it's really about the connection.
 
 00:40:59.715 --> 00:41:00.697
 It's really about do I feel
 
 00:41:00.737 --> 00:41:02.077
 safe and secure with this person?
 
 00:41:02.597 --> 00:41:04.119
 And the safe and secure
 
 00:41:04.599 --> 00:41:07.201
 comes with when I say something,
 
 00:41:08.393 --> 00:41:09.454
 you know, kids are watching.
 
 00:41:09.773 --> 00:41:11.153
 Like, is it okay to say this thing?
 
 00:41:11.313 --> 00:41:12.034
 Like, is it not okay?
 
 00:41:12.074 --> 00:41:12.835
 Are you gonna judge it?
 
 00:41:12.875 --> 00:41:14.056
 Are you gonna tell me that I'm wrong?
 
 00:41:15.155 --> 00:41:16.677
 And so there's a safe way to
 
 00:41:16.737 --> 00:41:18.538
 do that as a parent or as a
 
 00:41:18.617 --> 00:41:21.759
 family member to encourage
 
 00:41:21.918 --> 00:41:24.280
 kids' own ideas and not, you know,
 
 00:41:24.320 --> 00:41:25.420
 stamp them down all the time.
 
 00:41:25.880 --> 00:41:27.021
 So in the book,
 
 00:41:27.041 --> 00:41:27.942
 we talk a little bit about
 
 00:41:27.981 --> 00:41:29.302
 like some of the things
 
 00:41:29.322 --> 00:41:31.824
 that we accidentally do to
 
 00:41:31.963 --> 00:41:33.664
 decrease worthiness.
 
 00:41:35.161 --> 00:41:36.081
 This is one that's a little,
 
 00:41:36.581 --> 00:41:38.001
 a little bit like might get
 
 00:41:38.021 --> 00:41:38.943
 some pushback on this,
 
 00:41:39.342 --> 00:41:40.262
 but one of the things that
 
 00:41:40.523 --> 00:41:43.623
 it looks to me is that, um,
 
 00:41:43.643 --> 00:41:44.804
 pairing behaviors with
 
 00:41:44.864 --> 00:41:45.985
 consequences and rewards.
 
 00:41:46.005 --> 00:41:49.826
 That's a big, that's a big thing that, um,
 
 00:41:49.925 --> 00:41:51.327
 it takes away just there's
 
 00:41:51.367 --> 00:41:53.246
 research that says it takes away, um,
 
 00:41:53.286 --> 00:41:55.228
 their, uh, internal motivation.
 
 00:41:55.288 --> 00:41:56.547
 So there is just evidence of that,
 
 00:41:57.027 --> 00:41:58.708
 but it also then pairs good and bad,
 
 00:41:59.268 --> 00:42:00.009
 you know, when you,
 
 00:42:00.028 --> 00:42:01.369
 when you have a tantrum in the store,
 
 00:42:01.789 --> 00:42:02.650
 That's bad.
 
 00:42:03.170 --> 00:42:03.992
 And then you get something
 
 00:42:04.092 --> 00:42:08.614
 removed versus something happens.
 
 00:42:09.155 --> 00:42:11.295
 So finding out what happens, you know,
 
 00:42:11.637 --> 00:42:14.077
 what was the cause of the big tantrum?
 
 00:42:14.197 --> 00:42:15.920
 What was going on that led
 
 00:42:15.960 --> 00:42:16.800
 you to this point?
 
 00:42:17.820 --> 00:42:19.402
 And really validating the emotions.
 
 00:42:19.442 --> 00:42:20.983
 And particularly if you have young ones,
 
 00:42:21.864 --> 00:42:22.983
 it's very irrational.
 
 00:42:23.704 --> 00:42:25.565
 That's where their brains are.
 
 00:42:26.545 --> 00:42:26.786
 Yeah,
 
 00:42:26.827 --> 00:42:28.768
 but if you're helping them through
 
 00:42:28.789 --> 00:42:29.670
 that process as their
 
 00:42:29.690 --> 00:42:31.030
 brain's developing and they
 
 00:42:31.070 --> 00:42:32.373
 can identify and become
 
 00:42:32.393 --> 00:42:33.434
 self-aware through the
 
 00:42:33.474 --> 00:42:34.896
 process of asking questions
 
 00:42:34.936 --> 00:42:36.036
 of what happened instead of
 
 00:42:36.077 --> 00:42:36.998
 shaming them more,
 
 00:42:37.398 --> 00:42:38.960
 pushing down that emotion more,
 
 00:42:39.340 --> 00:42:41.382
 helping them to find, well, you know what,
 
 00:42:41.463 --> 00:42:42.704
 that I can see why you were
 
 00:42:42.844 --> 00:42:44.166
 X upset and had that at the
 
 00:42:44.206 --> 00:42:44.927
 grocery store.
 
 00:42:45.447 --> 00:42:47.369
 You know, how are you feeling now?
 
 00:42:47.608 --> 00:42:49.010
 You know, in the grocery store,
 
 00:42:49.170 --> 00:42:50.070
 in the future,
 
 00:42:50.452 --> 00:42:51.552
 do we have any other ways
 
 00:42:51.632 --> 00:42:53.193
 we could do that or express
 
 00:42:53.233 --> 00:42:54.235
 that that would be like,
 
 00:42:54.355 --> 00:42:55.655
 that would feel even better to you?
 
 00:42:55.675 --> 00:42:57.137
 Because does that feel very good?
 
 00:42:57.418 --> 00:43:00.960
 You know, like that might be like I could,
 
 00:43:00.981 --> 00:43:01.440
 oh gosh,
 
 00:43:01.541 --> 00:43:02.822
 I see now I want to have another child.
 
 00:43:05.284 --> 00:43:06.425
 I have one and I'm like, man,
 
 00:43:06.965 --> 00:43:08.646
 this is the things that I, I,
 
 00:43:09.427 --> 00:43:11.168
 you grow up with this,
 
 00:43:11.208 --> 00:43:12.949
 growing up with this child, you know,
 
 00:43:13.090 --> 00:43:14.851
 I was when I had my kid,
 
 00:43:15.271 --> 00:43:16.512
 so I was not prepared.
 
 00:43:16.871 --> 00:43:17.492
 You know, we're not,
 
 00:43:17.713 --> 00:43:18.974
 not most of us are not prepared.
 
 00:43:19.393 --> 00:43:20.775
 And there's so many of us that think like,
 
 00:43:20.855 --> 00:43:21.235
 oh my gosh,
 
 00:43:21.255 --> 00:43:22.596
 if I could go back and do that.
 
 00:43:22.615 --> 00:43:22.936
 But I,
 
 00:43:23.237 --> 00:43:25.458
 I definitely think that the resource
 
 00:43:25.478 --> 00:43:26.199
 you're offering,
 
 00:43:26.278 --> 00:43:27.398
 especially from the lens of
 
 00:43:28.360 --> 00:43:30.445
 it becoming it becoming into
 
 00:43:30.485 --> 00:43:31.969
 the world it became into
 
 00:43:31.989 --> 00:43:33.052
 the world as a shamanic
 
 00:43:34.318 --> 00:43:35.938
 piece that came through you.
 
 00:43:36.018 --> 00:43:37.398
 I think that is so beautiful.
 
 00:43:37.599 --> 00:43:38.498
 I think especially because
 
 00:43:38.518 --> 00:43:40.380
 you have the background and
 
 00:43:40.400 --> 00:43:41.000
 the understanding,
 
 00:43:41.199 --> 00:43:43.840
 even just the academics of the foundation,
 
 00:43:43.940 --> 00:43:45.222
 then to allow it to animate
 
 00:43:45.262 --> 00:43:47.983
 itself into a more fuller
 
 00:43:48.083 --> 00:43:49.623
 expression of how we can
 
 00:43:49.663 --> 00:43:50.463
 really support these
 
 00:43:50.503 --> 00:43:52.384
 children and ourselves being parents.
 
 00:43:52.983 --> 00:43:54.264
 So, yeah.
 
 00:43:54.324 --> 00:43:54.485
 Well,
 
 00:43:54.644 --> 00:43:56.065
 I'm curious if there's anything else
 
 00:43:56.085 --> 00:43:56.766
 you want to share about
 
 00:43:56.786 --> 00:43:57.686
 your book or if you want to
 
 00:43:57.706 --> 00:43:59.186
 go into talking about what
 
 00:43:59.206 --> 00:44:00.407
 it looks like to work with you.
 
 00:44:01.146 --> 00:44:01.427
 Like I said,
 
 00:44:01.467 --> 00:44:02.128
 I think it's just it's
 
 00:44:02.168 --> 00:44:04.311
 important for it's super short.
 
 00:44:04.710 --> 00:44:05.811
 And I did that intentionally
 
 00:44:05.831 --> 00:44:07.693
 because I have some attention issues.
 
 00:44:08.094 --> 00:44:09.255
 I don't particularly like to
 
 00:44:09.275 --> 00:44:10.998
 get caught up in the fluff of things.
 
 00:44:11.438 --> 00:44:12.739
 And so it's meant to be
 
 00:44:13.139 --> 00:44:14.681
 something you can read very
 
 00:44:14.722 --> 00:44:15.862
 quickly and then implement
 
 00:44:15.882 --> 00:44:16.684
 things very quickly.
 
 00:44:18.313 --> 00:44:18.494
 Right.
 
 00:44:18.574 --> 00:44:19.795
 So it's something you can
 
 00:44:19.835 --> 00:44:22.059
 hand to your if you have
 
 00:44:22.079 --> 00:44:23.159
 your own clients and they're like,
 
 00:44:23.179 --> 00:44:24.161
 I'm not really sure what to
 
 00:44:24.201 --> 00:44:26.784
 do with this parent or with this child.
 
 00:44:27.846 --> 00:44:28.947
 It's also meant for people
 
 00:44:29.027 --> 00:44:31.130
 who like I love learning,
 
 00:44:31.170 --> 00:44:32.190
 but not everyone does.
 
 00:44:32.351 --> 00:44:33.753
 And so it's also meant for those people,
 
 00:44:33.793 --> 00:44:33.913
 too,
 
 00:44:33.932 --> 00:44:35.195
 where they can just flip to a page
 
 00:44:35.235 --> 00:44:35.574
 and be like,
 
 00:44:35.594 --> 00:44:36.556
 what's the deal with friends?
 
 00:44:37.119 --> 00:44:37.880
 know what's the deal with
 
 00:44:37.940 --> 00:44:38.840
 parents what's the deal
 
 00:44:39.239 --> 00:44:41.501
 with um these emotions and
 
 00:44:41.521 --> 00:44:43.023
 just have it's very quick
 
 00:44:43.143 --> 00:44:44.282
 and easy to it's also very
 
 00:44:44.344 --> 00:44:45.563
 easy to understand because
 
 00:44:45.583 --> 00:44:47.065
 again as someone who's
 
 00:44:47.646 --> 00:44:49.246
 neurodivergent and has been
 
 00:44:49.286 --> 00:44:50.547
 in a lot of education and
 
 00:44:50.646 --> 00:44:51.827
 most the time had no idea
 
 00:44:51.847 --> 00:44:53.929
 what was happening I wanted
 
 00:44:53.949 --> 00:44:54.789
 to make sure it's very easy
 
 00:44:54.829 --> 00:44:57.351
 to understand also and then
 
 00:44:57.371 --> 00:44:58.492
 as far as working with me
 
 00:44:58.831 --> 00:45:00.293
 um that just goes back to
 
 00:45:00.472 --> 00:45:02.855
 finding my medicine and for
 
 00:45:02.894 --> 00:45:03.735
 the people that want to
 
 00:45:03.775 --> 00:45:05.976
 work with me is finding the disharmony
 
 00:45:06.664 --> 00:45:10.346
 Uh, so sometimes that looks like, um,
 
 00:45:10.445 --> 00:45:11.626
 a relationship with a person,
 
 00:45:12.085 --> 00:45:14.246
 but often it's actually a
 
 00:45:14.286 --> 00:45:15.628
 relationship with a concept.
 
 00:45:16.007 --> 00:45:18.869
 So a concept like power and safety, um,
 
 00:45:18.929 --> 00:45:22.251
 with health and wellness, um, you know,
 
 00:45:22.311 --> 00:45:24.110
 money is always a big one that comes up.
 
 00:45:24.490 --> 00:45:26.431
 And so it's really looking at, okay, well,
 
 00:45:26.452 --> 00:45:27.753
 how would it actually feel
 
 00:45:27.972 --> 00:45:28.873
 for you to live in this
 
 00:45:28.913 --> 00:45:29.974
 world and just feel safe?
 
 00:45:30.634 --> 00:45:31.353
 Like, how would,
 
 00:45:31.393 --> 00:45:32.815
 how would it feel for you to actually
 
 00:45:33.666 --> 00:45:35.967
 feel powerful when you go in some places.
 
 00:45:36.467 --> 00:45:37.228
 And then there's usually
 
 00:45:37.309 --> 00:45:38.588
 something there that's just
 
 00:45:38.688 --> 00:45:39.889
 not quite in alignment.
 
 00:45:39.909 --> 00:45:40.750
 And so we work on that.
 
 00:45:42.030 --> 00:45:43.530
 I use shamanic healing,
 
 00:45:43.570 --> 00:45:44.532
 but then I also use
 
 00:45:44.891 --> 00:45:45.891
 internal family systems.
 
 00:45:46.492 --> 00:45:47.532
 So that's the part of
 
 00:45:47.952 --> 00:45:49.414
 therapy that I can actually
 
 00:45:49.454 --> 00:45:50.614
 use insurance for and
 
 00:45:50.675 --> 00:45:52.255
 actually go down that route.
 
 00:45:53.795 --> 00:45:54.235
 And actually,
 
 00:45:54.295 --> 00:45:56.697
 IFS is so similar to the
 
 00:45:56.797 --> 00:45:58.717
 shamanic work that I was taught.
 
 00:45:58.757 --> 00:46:00.199
 Yeah, which is interesting.
 
 00:46:00.318 --> 00:46:00.458
 Yeah.
 
 00:46:01.077 --> 00:46:02.818
 absolutely yeah I know that
 
 00:46:02.878 --> 00:46:03.938
 my you know for those of
 
 00:46:03.978 --> 00:46:05.159
 you like what she's saying
 
 00:46:05.199 --> 00:46:06.860
 about this foundational
 
 00:46:06.880 --> 00:46:07.860
 thing you're talking about
 
 00:46:07.920 --> 00:46:10.322
 safety and how the concept
 
 00:46:10.362 --> 00:46:11.342
 of money can relate to
 
 00:46:11.382 --> 00:46:12.943
 safety the concept of you
 
 00:46:12.963 --> 00:46:13.943
 know community all these
 
 00:46:13.963 --> 00:46:15.284
 things relate to safety I I
 
 00:46:15.344 --> 00:46:16.365
 honestly feel like that's
 
 00:46:16.385 --> 00:46:17.885
 such a foundation for so
 
 00:46:17.925 --> 00:46:19.686
 many things because that
 
 00:46:19.706 --> 00:46:24.849
 grows the the safety and value
 
 00:46:25.822 --> 00:46:27.643
 like valuing yourself and safety.
 
 00:46:27.963 --> 00:46:28.764
 I feel like those are two
 
 00:46:28.784 --> 00:46:30.706
 foundational things because
 
 00:46:30.726 --> 00:46:32.429
 if you value yourself and you truly do,
 
 00:46:32.449 --> 00:46:34.150
 and you feel value, see value, you,
 
 00:46:34.431 --> 00:46:36.213
 you can embody feeling valued.
 
 00:46:36.494 --> 00:46:37.695
 If even if you didn't ever have it,
 
 00:46:37.715 --> 00:46:38.795
 you can grow it.
 
 00:46:39.336 --> 00:46:41.539
 You, you will develop boundaries.
 
 00:46:41.559 --> 00:46:42.900
 You develop self care.
 
 00:46:42.981 --> 00:46:43.981
 You will develop, uh,
 
 00:46:44.001 --> 00:46:45.023
 uh, good,
 
 00:46:45.043 --> 00:46:46.643
 better relationships with others
 
 00:46:46.684 --> 00:46:47.324
 because you're developing
 
 00:46:47.344 --> 00:46:48.425
 that relationship with yourself.
 
 00:46:48.465 --> 00:46:50.346
 But that sense of safety is so big.
 
 00:46:50.365 --> 00:46:50.965
 I think,
 
 00:46:51.005 --> 00:46:51.847
 especially for people who've gone
 
 00:46:51.867 --> 00:46:53.568
 through trauma, but in our world today,
 
 00:46:53.608 --> 00:46:54.407
 it doesn't always feel,
 
 00:46:54.668 --> 00:46:56.509
 it doesn't feel safe even now.
 
 00:46:56.949 --> 00:46:58.289
 So like, even for a lot of people,
 
 00:46:58.309 --> 00:46:59.791
 like how do you rectify that?
 
 00:47:00.391 --> 00:47:02.213
 Um, and it's like all the parts,
 
 00:47:02.253 --> 00:47:03.612
 like how does your child feel safe?
 
 00:47:03.652 --> 00:47:05.875
 Your inner teenager is going to get mad.
 
 00:47:06.054 --> 00:47:07.516
 Usually it gets more feisty
 
 00:47:07.556 --> 00:47:08.635
 and fiery if it doesn't
 
 00:47:08.675 --> 00:47:10.376
 feel safe and it wants to change things.
 
 00:47:10.396 --> 00:47:11.338
 And I think we have a lot of
 
 00:47:11.398 --> 00:47:13.278
 us in our world today, um,
 
 00:47:14.277 --> 00:47:15.518
 We're not always maybe
 
 00:47:15.579 --> 00:47:17.280
 productive or efficient
 
 00:47:17.320 --> 00:47:20.222
 with creating actual safety in our world.
 
 00:47:20.583 --> 00:47:22.384
 We're more so operating out
 
 00:47:22.523 --> 00:47:24.985
 of reactivity versus
 
 00:47:25.146 --> 00:47:27.108
 constructively developing boundaries,
 
 00:47:27.148 --> 00:47:29.088
 rules, regulations, organizations,
 
 00:47:29.148 --> 00:47:30.449
 even healthy and safe
 
 00:47:30.490 --> 00:47:31.731
 community containers.
 
 00:47:32.811 --> 00:47:33.612
 such a big thing.
 
 00:47:33.632 --> 00:47:34.793
 And it's such a, you know,
 
 00:47:34.813 --> 00:47:35.572
 it's part of my healing
 
 00:47:35.612 --> 00:47:37.353
 journey of not having that
 
 00:47:37.373 --> 00:47:39.034
 safety and community and
 
 00:47:39.054 --> 00:47:39.954
 especially in the holistic
 
 00:47:39.994 --> 00:47:41.215
 realm where we have a lot
 
 00:47:41.235 --> 00:47:42.175
 of misuse of power and
 
 00:47:42.195 --> 00:47:43.135
 weird power dynamics.
 
 00:47:43.577 --> 00:47:44.677
 So for me, it's like,
 
 00:47:44.936 --> 00:47:46.137
 not only part of my healing journey,
 
 00:47:46.157 --> 00:47:47.418
 and I'm very aware of it,
 
 00:47:47.737 --> 00:47:49.059
 passionate about it, obviously,
 
 00:47:49.099 --> 00:47:51.199
 it's if it's a trigger, it's a healer,
 
 00:47:51.420 --> 00:47:52.619
 it's a healer, if it's a trigger.
 
 00:47:53.101 --> 00:47:53.981
 And if it's a trigger,
 
 00:47:54.121 --> 00:47:54.760
 and there's passion and
 
 00:47:54.780 --> 00:47:56.981
 motivation behind it, you know, it,
 
 00:47:57.001 --> 00:47:57.222
 for me,
 
 00:47:57.262 --> 00:47:59.003
 it creates the strong boundaries
 
 00:47:59.202 --> 00:48:01.324
 and wanting to create safety for others.
 
 00:48:01.543 --> 00:48:02.664
 because that creates safety
 
 00:48:02.704 --> 00:48:03.764
 for me within the container
 
 00:48:03.784 --> 00:48:06.525
 that I'm helping my own person,
 
 00:48:06.545 --> 00:48:10.206
 my own child, all the parts.
 
 00:48:10.407 --> 00:48:12.547
 I love that you named that
 
 00:48:12.648 --> 00:48:14.409
 as the foundational thing.
 
 00:48:16.329 --> 00:48:17.250
 Can I ask you a question
 
 00:48:17.309 --> 00:48:18.170
 actually about that?
 
 00:48:19.507 --> 00:48:20.847
 about working with people
 
 00:48:21.009 --> 00:48:23.648
 with the safety and, you know,
 
 00:48:23.688 --> 00:48:24.369
 the money stuff,
 
 00:48:24.409 --> 00:48:26.170
 the community stuff that you shared about,
 
 00:48:26.869 --> 00:48:27.570
 what are some of the
 
 00:48:27.670 --> 00:48:29.490
 outcomes with after working with people?
 
 00:48:29.550 --> 00:48:31.612
 What shifts in their lives when they they,
 
 00:48:31.972 --> 00:48:32.851
 they change their
 
 00:48:32.891 --> 00:48:35.552
 relationship with the concept of safety?
 
 00:48:35.952 --> 00:48:37.074
 I want to I'd love to share
 
 00:48:37.094 --> 00:48:38.014
 that just for people to
 
 00:48:38.054 --> 00:48:39.514
 know more and identify if
 
 00:48:39.554 --> 00:48:40.835
 they are in this boat,
 
 00:48:41.175 --> 00:48:42.034
 here are symptoms you might
 
 00:48:42.074 --> 00:48:42.956
 experience or life
 
 00:48:42.996 --> 00:48:43.715
 circumstances or
 
 00:48:43.755 --> 00:48:45.356
 experiences that are commonly there.
 
 00:48:45.516 --> 00:48:46.556
 And then after going through this,
 
 00:48:46.577 --> 00:48:47.436
 this is what can shift.
 
 00:48:48.597 --> 00:48:51.559
 Yeah.
 
 00:48:51.579 --> 00:48:52.458
 There's a couple of things
 
 00:48:52.759 --> 00:48:54.400
 that come to mind for that.
 
 00:48:54.440 --> 00:48:55.400
 So the first thing is a lot
 
 00:48:55.420 --> 00:48:56.641
 of times people actually
 
 00:48:56.681 --> 00:48:57.681
 won't go to any kind of
 
 00:48:57.740 --> 00:49:00.342
 therapy or healing because
 
 00:49:00.382 --> 00:49:01.722
 they don't want to change
 
 00:49:01.862 --> 00:49:03.143
 the situation that they're in.
 
 00:49:03.202 --> 00:49:04.043
 So like they don't want to leave,
 
 00:49:04.063 --> 00:49:05.603
 let's say like a spouse or a partner,
 
 00:49:06.423 --> 00:49:07.003
 or they feel like they
 
 00:49:07.023 --> 00:49:08.224
 maybe have to cut somebody off.
 
 00:49:08.264 --> 00:49:09.585
 There's a lot of fears about like,
 
 00:49:09.605 --> 00:49:10.804
 if I'm this,
 
 00:49:10.844 --> 00:49:11.844
 what that's going to look like.
 
 00:49:12.186 --> 00:49:13.666
 And I found in my own healing work,
 
 00:49:13.936 --> 00:49:14.836
 that that's not always the
 
 00:49:14.876 --> 00:49:15.916
 case because really you're
 
 00:49:15.936 --> 00:49:17.599
 changing the relationship with yourself.
 
 00:49:18.358 --> 00:49:20.039
 And then things seem less
 
 00:49:20.099 --> 00:49:21.121
 threatening around you.
 
 00:49:21.621 --> 00:49:23.742
 A lot of the people that I work,
 
 00:49:23.802 --> 00:49:25.643
 it's actually a perceived threat.
 
 00:49:25.744 --> 00:49:26.664
 It's not a real threat.
 
 00:49:26.744 --> 00:49:27.485
 And I think that's super
 
 00:49:27.545 --> 00:49:29.467
 important for people to recognize.
 
 00:49:29.567 --> 00:49:31.467
 There's a huge difference there.
 
 00:49:31.708 --> 00:49:32.789
 The emotional threat and
 
 00:49:32.809 --> 00:49:33.949
 what's emotionally abusive
 
 00:49:34.090 --> 00:49:37.012
 versus if you're looking at
 
 00:49:37.052 --> 00:49:38.753
 something that seems like a threat.
 
 00:49:39.193 --> 00:49:40.213
 And so really getting a
 
 00:49:40.333 --> 00:49:41.394
 better understanding of
 
 00:49:41.434 --> 00:49:42.536
 what that actually looks like
 
 00:49:42.996 --> 00:49:45.818
 What I've found is that most
 
 00:49:45.858 --> 00:49:47.559
 of the really difficult emotions,
 
 00:49:47.619 --> 00:49:48.539
 the ones that tend to have
 
 00:49:48.559 --> 00:49:50.661
 like a lot of energy around them,
 
 00:49:50.681 --> 00:49:51.681
 but they're also discomfort.
 
 00:49:51.983 --> 00:49:53.242
 There's a lot of discomfort around them.
 
 00:49:53.603 --> 00:49:54.603
 You know, like the anger.
 
 00:49:54.704 --> 00:49:56.025
 There's also like they're...
 
 00:49:57.492 --> 00:49:59.092
 The anxiety, the ones that feel,
 
 00:49:59.413 --> 00:50:00.333
 if you feel into them,
 
 00:50:00.373 --> 00:50:01.554
 they're very fast moving.
 
 00:50:01.974 --> 00:50:02.253
 They're like,
 
 00:50:02.273 --> 00:50:03.554
 you have to do something now.
 
 00:50:03.875 --> 00:50:04.414
 Oh yes.
 
 00:50:04.735 --> 00:50:04.894
 Yes.
 
 00:50:05.054 --> 00:50:06.556
 I know they have,
 
 00:50:06.576 --> 00:50:08.215
 they have the fight flight freeze.
 
 00:50:10.916 --> 00:50:11.297
 So if you,
 
 00:50:11.398 --> 00:50:12.498
 if you really look at them and
 
 00:50:12.518 --> 00:50:13.398
 you really start to think
 
 00:50:13.438 --> 00:50:14.559
 about like where they come from,
 
 00:50:14.858 --> 00:50:16.559
 they're often from a lie
 
 00:50:16.579 --> 00:50:17.139
 that we're telling
 
 00:50:17.179 --> 00:50:19.581
 ourselves typically about ourselves.
 
 00:50:20.798 --> 00:50:22.280
 And so if you have a
 
 00:50:22.340 --> 00:50:23.101
 situation when you're in
 
 00:50:23.141 --> 00:50:25.806
 conflict with somebody, like for instance,
 
 00:50:25.846 --> 00:50:26.626
 I was talking to someone
 
 00:50:26.646 --> 00:50:28.630
 the other day in like a group forum,
 
 00:50:28.710 --> 00:50:30.351
 it was a group myself and
 
 00:50:30.371 --> 00:50:31.012
 the other person was
 
 00:50:31.052 --> 00:50:32.375
 running and everyone was
 
 00:50:32.454 --> 00:50:33.496
 asking for feedback.
 
 00:50:34.257 --> 00:50:36.139
 And the feedback I gave to
 
 00:50:36.159 --> 00:50:37.581
 the other person running the group
 
 00:50:38.322 --> 00:50:40.483
 Um, the, they had a reaction to it.
 
 00:50:40.724 --> 00:50:41.563
 They had a little bit of like,
 
 00:50:41.623 --> 00:50:42.644
 I maybe hit a little bit
 
 00:50:42.664 --> 00:50:44.405
 too close than they were comfortable for.
 
 00:50:44.864 --> 00:50:46.885
 So immediately I go into, oh my gosh,
 
 00:50:46.925 --> 00:50:47.826
 I'm the worst.
 
 00:50:48.306 --> 00:50:49.786
 Like, I can't believe I just did that.
 
 00:50:49.887 --> 00:50:51.467
 Like I'm a bad friend, all these things.
 
 00:50:52.068 --> 00:50:55.389
 Well, so then all that energy comes up.
 
 00:50:55.748 --> 00:50:55.989
 Yes.
 
 00:50:56.088 --> 00:50:57.690
 And so immediately to calm
 
 00:50:57.710 --> 00:50:59.469
 that I can say like,
 
 00:50:59.530 --> 00:51:00.791
 none of those things are true about me.
 
 00:51:00.831 --> 00:51:01.271
 I'm actually
 
 00:51:01.829 --> 00:51:03.210
 very conscientious of people,
 
 00:51:03.469 --> 00:51:04.791
 I had no idea that it would
 
 00:51:04.811 --> 00:51:05.552
 have hit like that,
 
 00:51:05.931 --> 00:51:07.072
 that there wasn't something
 
 00:51:07.132 --> 00:51:09.215
 I did intentionally, I am a good friend,
 
 00:51:09.275 --> 00:51:10.096
 I am all these things.
 
 00:51:10.536 --> 00:51:12.557
 And all of that dissipates.
 
 00:51:12.637 --> 00:51:14.079
 And so a lot of you know, what,
 
 00:51:14.298 --> 00:51:15.500
 what I'm looking for with
 
 00:51:15.539 --> 00:51:17.061
 people is what are those stories?
 
 00:51:17.101 --> 00:51:18.141
 What are those narratives
 
 00:51:18.181 --> 00:51:19.663
 that we've created?
 
 00:51:20.043 --> 00:51:21.724
 So the thing about safety
 
 00:51:22.422 --> 00:51:23.402
 like when you get in an
 
 00:51:23.623 --> 00:51:24.744
 argument with somebody and
 
 00:51:24.764 --> 00:51:25.463
 then all of a sudden you're like,
 
 00:51:25.583 --> 00:51:26.364
 I'm not safe.
 
 00:51:27.184 --> 00:51:28.764
 And so the external thing
 
 00:51:28.804 --> 00:51:30.065
 doesn't actually have to change.
 
 00:51:30.105 --> 00:51:31.945
 The messaging to yourself has to change.
 
 00:51:32.465 --> 00:51:34.367
 So you become safe.
 
 00:51:34.427 --> 00:51:36.126
 You feel safe in situations,
 
 00:51:36.246 --> 00:51:37.347
 even when there is conflict,
 
 00:51:37.367 --> 00:51:39.088
 even when there is discord.
 
 00:51:39.588 --> 00:51:39.867
 Yeah.
 
 00:51:40.327 --> 00:51:40.568
 Yes.
 
 00:51:40.668 --> 00:51:41.829
 That's profound.
 
 00:51:42.168 --> 00:51:44.590
 And because then if you can change that
 
 00:51:45.530 --> 00:51:47.170
 you can change you won't
 
 00:51:47.210 --> 00:51:49.132
 have the much I would say
 
 00:51:49.211 --> 00:51:50.393
 as much of a struggle for
 
 00:51:50.432 --> 00:51:51.672
 the emotional regulation
 
 00:51:51.693 --> 00:51:52.414
 when you're in these
 
 00:51:52.494 --> 00:51:54.074
 situations because that's
 
 00:51:54.114 --> 00:51:54.994
 half the battle actually
 
 00:51:55.014 --> 00:51:55.856
 that's a lot of the battle
 
 00:51:55.876 --> 00:51:57.255
 for people and learning
 
 00:51:57.376 --> 00:51:58.797
 okay when you get past a
 
 00:51:58.856 --> 00:51:59.737
 certain level of heightened
 
 00:51:59.777 --> 00:52:01.217
 activity then you can't you
 
 00:52:01.338 --> 00:52:03.179
 either go cry you get angry
 
 00:52:03.418 --> 00:52:04.860
 you you become apathetic
 
 00:52:04.920 --> 00:52:06.460
 whatever people's mode of
 
 00:52:06.521 --> 00:52:07.541
 fight flight fawn or freeze
 
 00:52:07.561 --> 00:52:09.101
 whatever they do and I
 
 00:52:09.121 --> 00:52:09.782
 think when you hit that
 
 00:52:09.802 --> 00:52:11.384
 threshold it's like oh my
 
 00:52:11.423 --> 00:52:12.384
 gosh and then you're like
 
 00:52:12.403 --> 00:52:13.625
 crap I'm in the cycle again
 
 00:52:14.125 --> 00:52:16.505
 So it's like sometimes we're going at it.
 
 00:52:16.606 --> 00:52:17.927
 I think I think there's so
 
 00:52:17.947 --> 00:52:18.847
 many different angles to go
 
 00:52:18.867 --> 00:52:20.429
 about healing and they all
 
 00:52:20.469 --> 00:52:21.108
 are so relevant.
 
 00:52:21.128 --> 00:52:21.849
 They'll all teach you
 
 00:52:21.869 --> 00:52:22.869
 something about yourself.
 
 00:52:23.230 --> 00:52:24.351
 But when you find that one thing,
 
 00:52:24.371 --> 00:52:25.192
 you can shift that.
 
 00:52:25.211 --> 00:52:25.711
 Like you said,
 
 00:52:25.751 --> 00:52:27.172
 that's that's profound
 
 00:52:27.213 --> 00:52:27.713
 because then you can put
 
 00:52:27.733 --> 00:52:29.434
 your energy into other
 
 00:52:29.454 --> 00:52:31.856
 things that are important.
 
 00:52:32.835 --> 00:52:33.817
 So, yeah.
 
 00:52:34.097 --> 00:52:34.297
 Yeah.
 
 00:52:34.336 --> 00:52:34.777
 Wonderful.
 
 00:52:34.856 --> 00:52:34.936
 Well,
 
 00:52:34.956 --> 00:52:35.918
 there's anything else you want to
 
 00:52:35.938 --> 00:52:38.119
 share about your work,
 
 00:52:38.159 --> 00:52:38.940
 about what it looks like to
 
 00:52:38.980 --> 00:52:40.099
 work with you or your book
 
 00:52:40.119 --> 00:52:40.820
 or anything at all?
 
 00:52:42.382 --> 00:52:44.266
 Well, folks can find me on Instagram.
 
 00:52:44.286 --> 00:52:45.268
 I just wanted to share that.
 
 00:52:45.288 --> 00:52:47.492
 So I'm at Sarah is a healer
 
 00:52:47.952 --> 00:52:49.916
 and on Facebook, same Sarah is a healer.
 
 00:52:51.320 --> 00:52:53.724
 And the book is on Amazon.
 
 00:52:53.764 --> 00:52:55.126
 It's called scared and exhausted.
 
 00:52:55.853 --> 00:52:57.235
 It's how to understand your child,
 
 00:52:57.275 --> 00:52:59.215
 move past fear and parent with ease.
 
 00:52:59.996 --> 00:53:00.635
 And the point is,
 
 00:53:00.695 --> 00:53:02.317
 is that parenting is not easy,
 
 00:53:02.836 --> 00:53:04.036
 but when you feel like you
 
 00:53:04.056 --> 00:53:05.677
 can stay regulated and help
 
 00:53:05.697 --> 00:53:07.038
 your child when they need help,
 
 00:53:07.177 --> 00:53:09.318
 that's where the ease comes from.
 
 00:53:09.398 --> 00:53:10.639
 And so that's really what I
 
 00:53:10.659 --> 00:53:11.880
 want to help people with is
 
 00:53:11.940 --> 00:53:13.561
 how do you find ease in things?
 
 00:53:13.820 --> 00:53:15.141
 How do you find ease in conflict?
 
 00:53:15.282 --> 00:53:17.302
 How do you find ease in, you know,
 
 00:53:17.322 --> 00:53:18.822
 just relationships with everything.
 
 00:53:18.882 --> 00:53:21.304
 So even things like, you know,
 
 00:53:22.523 --> 00:53:23.664
 the earth and,
 
 00:53:24.719 --> 00:53:26.085
 Some of these relationships
 
 00:53:26.126 --> 00:53:26.929
 aren't things that people
 
 00:53:27.170 --> 00:53:28.315
 typically seek help for,
 
 00:53:28.355 --> 00:53:29.440
 but I want to encourage people.
 
 00:53:29.994 --> 00:53:30.673
 to think about their
 
 00:53:30.693 --> 00:53:31.875
 relationship with safety,
 
 00:53:31.954 --> 00:53:32.615
 to think about their
 
 00:53:32.635 --> 00:53:33.936
 relationship with sex,
 
 00:53:34.356 --> 00:53:34.996
 to think about their
 
 00:53:35.016 --> 00:53:36.277
 relationship with God.
 
 00:53:36.498 --> 00:53:37.157
 That's a big one.
 
 00:53:37.579 --> 00:53:38.438
 Yeah.
 
 00:53:38.478 --> 00:53:40.059
 The biggest things that we
 
 00:53:40.239 --> 00:53:42.121
 have a potential misuse of power,
 
 00:53:43.322 --> 00:53:44.163
 I think are the biggest
 
 00:53:44.202 --> 00:53:45.724
 things that are scary.
 
 00:53:46.443 --> 00:53:49.346
 That's why religion, politics, sex, money,
 
 00:53:49.925 --> 00:53:50.947
 those are the big four,
 
 00:53:51.527 --> 00:53:52.668
 because those are power.
 
 00:53:53.248 --> 00:53:53.869
 And if we can
 
 00:53:54.708 --> 00:53:56.329
 take back our power and feel
 
 00:53:56.409 --> 00:53:57.690
 comfortable in the driver's
 
 00:53:57.710 --> 00:53:58.871
 seat of those things within
 
 00:53:58.891 --> 00:54:00.713
 our individual self other
 
 00:54:00.733 --> 00:54:01.673
 people that are misusing it
 
 00:54:01.693 --> 00:54:02.954
 do not trigger us anymore
 
 00:54:03.054 --> 00:54:04.115
 they're just like a
 
 00:54:04.175 --> 00:54:05.996
 nuisance still and it's
 
 00:54:06.016 --> 00:54:06.978
 still that you know there's
 
 00:54:06.998 --> 00:54:07.777
 still people out there that
 
 00:54:07.797 --> 00:54:08.739
 are working on changing
 
 00:54:08.778 --> 00:54:09.679
 misuse and putting up
 
 00:54:09.699 --> 00:54:10.960
 structures and boundaries
 
 00:54:10.981 --> 00:54:11.581
 because that's what we're
 
 00:54:11.621 --> 00:54:12.302
 kind of going through I
 
 00:54:12.342 --> 00:54:13.101
 think in a big picture
 
 00:54:13.121 --> 00:54:14.422
 collectively we're taking
 
 00:54:14.463 --> 00:54:15.744
 our power back like that's
 
 00:54:15.804 --> 00:54:17.005
 my my if you want to call
 
 00:54:17.025 --> 00:54:17.985
 it shamanic viewpoint but
 
 00:54:18.005 --> 00:54:18.965
 that's the collective view
 
 00:54:19.005 --> 00:54:20.927
 of like how do we take our power back
 
 00:54:21.889 --> 00:54:22.748
 it's recognizing when we're
 
 00:54:22.768 --> 00:54:23.889
 not using it or where we've
 
 00:54:23.909 --> 00:54:25.409
 given it away or where the shadow,
 
 00:54:25.449 --> 00:54:26.170
 we're not aware of
 
 00:54:26.210 --> 00:54:27.190
 something to be able to be, yeah.
 
 00:54:27.210 --> 00:54:29.070
 Yeah.
 
 00:54:29.130 --> 00:54:29.771
 And those are the core
 
 00:54:29.791 --> 00:54:32.451
 beliefs that they talk about in therapy.
 
 00:54:32.550 --> 00:54:34.411
 It's responsibility, it's value,
 
 00:54:34.532 --> 00:54:37.152
 it's safety, and then it's power.
 
 00:54:37.231 --> 00:54:38.612
 And so those like
 
 00:54:38.992 --> 00:54:40.273
 responsibility is a big one too.
 
 00:54:40.293 --> 00:54:41.112
 Like we take too much
 
 00:54:41.213 --> 00:54:43.134
 ownership of something and
 
 00:54:43.153 --> 00:54:45.753
 then we go into ourselves
 
 00:54:46.034 --> 00:54:49.494
 and we get smaller, we lose our power.
 
 00:54:50.456 --> 00:54:52.378
 And so all those things really, again,
 
 00:54:52.438 --> 00:54:53.880
 what are your relationships
 
 00:54:53.900 --> 00:54:54.983
 with those things?
 
 00:54:55.523 --> 00:54:56.585
 And it doesn't even have to be,
 
 00:54:56.684 --> 00:54:57.527
 and I guess I just want to
 
 00:54:57.547 --> 00:54:58.407
 encourage people too,
 
 00:54:58.849 --> 00:55:00.471
 that a lot of these works,
 
 00:55:00.510 --> 00:55:01.632
 these healing modalities,
 
 00:55:02.393 --> 00:55:03.255
 sometimes you don't ever
 
 00:55:03.295 --> 00:55:04.396
 have to talk about the thing.
 
 00:55:05.610 --> 00:55:06.231
 And I guess I really want to
 
 00:55:06.271 --> 00:55:07.251
 push that for people.
 
 00:55:07.311 --> 00:55:07.472
 Like,
 
 00:55:07.492 --> 00:55:09.032
 you don't have to talk about the trauma.
 
 00:55:09.452 --> 00:55:10.753
 You can talk about the idea.
 
 00:55:10.773 --> 00:55:11.934
 You can talk about the concept.
 
 00:55:11.954 --> 00:55:14.056
 You can talk about the emotions behind it.
 
 00:55:14.356 --> 00:55:16.177
 You can never even say the thing.
 
 00:55:16.836 --> 00:55:17.496
 And so I want to make sure
 
 00:55:17.516 --> 00:55:18.737
 that people understand that too,
 
 00:55:18.757 --> 00:55:19.498
 because it just feels
 
 00:55:19.538 --> 00:55:22.559
 important that people still seek out help,
 
 00:55:22.659 --> 00:55:23.280
 even if they're like,
 
 00:55:23.340 --> 00:55:24.501
 I don't want to talk about that thing.
 
 00:55:24.561 --> 00:55:25.581
 Like, that's fine.
 
 00:55:25.661 --> 00:55:25.842
 Yeah.
 
 00:55:27.514 --> 00:55:28.617
 I think that's absolutely
 
 00:55:28.637 --> 00:55:30.278
 important because this is
 
 00:55:30.318 --> 00:55:32.282
 what we're here to do.
 
 00:55:32.302 --> 00:55:33.023
 Part of my journey,
 
 00:55:33.143 --> 00:55:34.405
 and I know from what you're sharing,
 
 00:55:34.425 --> 00:55:35.427
 this sounds like part of your journey,
 
 00:55:35.487 --> 00:55:36.849
 is how do we help people
 
 00:55:36.969 --> 00:55:37.931
 get the help they need?
 
 00:55:38.291 --> 00:55:39.592
 And that's because there's so much stigma,
 
 00:55:39.773 --> 00:55:41.094
 and the stigma is like, oh,
 
 00:55:41.135 --> 00:55:42.557
 I have to go and talk about it.
 
 00:55:42.978 --> 00:55:44.018
 And that's too scary.
 
 00:55:44.059 --> 00:55:44.940
 That's too overwhelming for
 
 00:55:44.960 --> 00:55:45.619
 the nervous system.
 
 00:55:46.121 --> 00:55:48.362
 And that is not necessary,
 
 00:55:48.382 --> 00:55:48.963
 like you're saying.
 
 00:55:49.103 --> 00:55:50.724
 It's so beautiful.
 
 00:55:50.764 --> 00:55:53.567
 And maybe not all people in
 
 00:55:53.586 --> 00:55:54.347
 the professional
 
 00:55:54.608 --> 00:55:56.289
 psychotherapy setting have
 
 00:55:56.329 --> 00:55:58.692
 that belief or viewpoint or training.
 
 00:55:59.311 --> 00:56:00.592
 So it's important to know
 
 00:56:00.632 --> 00:56:03.056
 that you may encounter that.
 
 00:56:03.795 --> 00:56:05.757
 And that doesn't make it right or wrong.
 
 00:56:05.818 --> 00:56:07.059
 It makes it one path.
 
 00:56:07.679 --> 00:56:08.659
 It may not be right for you.
 
 00:56:09.581 --> 00:56:09.740
 Yeah.
 
 00:56:09.760 --> 00:56:11.583
 And let me just add on that, too, because,
 
 00:56:11.922 --> 00:56:12.143
 again,
 
 00:56:12.262 --> 00:56:14.284
 in that PDF I have just about all
 
 00:56:14.304 --> 00:56:15.106
 the healing modalities.
 
 00:56:15.186 --> 00:56:16.786
 One of the things I have in
 
 00:56:16.806 --> 00:56:18.268
 the front of it is just
 
 00:56:18.288 --> 00:56:19.489
 helping you gather like a
 
 00:56:19.528 --> 00:56:20.230
 couple of thoughts about
 
 00:56:20.250 --> 00:56:21.351
 what you would like to work
 
 00:56:21.451 --> 00:56:22.672
 on and how to get clarity
 
 00:56:22.711 --> 00:56:23.652
 on where you are now and
 
 00:56:23.693 --> 00:56:25.074
 how where you would like to be.
 
 00:56:25.853 --> 00:56:26.795
 But one of the things I
 
 00:56:26.835 --> 00:56:28.335
 mentioned in there is it's
 
 00:56:28.556 --> 00:56:30.418
 our job as healers to make
 
 00:56:30.458 --> 00:56:32.318
 you feel comfortable and
 
 00:56:32.380 --> 00:56:34.021
 safe enough to explore those things.
 
 00:56:34.922 --> 00:56:37.224
 And yes, there is some discomfort in that,
 
 00:56:37.463 --> 00:56:39.326
 but it's in a comfortable container.
 
 00:56:39.746 --> 00:56:40.826
 There has to be trust.
 
 00:56:40.887 --> 00:56:42.327
 And so if you're with somebody,
 
 00:56:43.487 --> 00:56:45.668
 any type of professional or
 
 00:56:45.688 --> 00:56:48.190
 healer that you don't feel safe with,
 
 00:56:48.650 --> 00:56:49.552
 bring that up to them.
 
 00:56:50.331 --> 00:56:52.954
 And if it's not corrected, then move on.
 
 00:56:52.974 --> 00:56:54.835
 I think that goes back to
 
 00:56:54.855 --> 00:56:55.934
 what you're saying is
 
 00:56:57.076 --> 00:56:57.916
 they're not all equal.
 
 00:56:58.376 --> 00:57:00.057
 And so it's important for, I guess I'm
 
 00:57:01.157 --> 00:57:02.639
 pushing power into people in
 
 00:57:02.659 --> 00:57:05.605
 this moment of be okay with
 
 00:57:05.644 --> 00:57:07.367
 something else if you don't feel safe.
 
 00:57:07.387 --> 00:57:08.429
 That's the number one
 
 00:57:08.449 --> 00:57:09.431
 priority of all of us.
 
 00:57:10.291 --> 00:57:11.010
 And if it's not,
 
 00:57:11.150 --> 00:57:12.572
 then find someone who does
 
 00:57:12.612 --> 00:57:13.331
 have that priority.
 
 00:57:14.152 --> 00:57:16.132
 I love that bringing up the
 
 00:57:16.193 --> 00:57:18.954
 fact that if you don't feel safe,
 
 00:57:19.673 --> 00:57:21.974
 if you do go through expressing that,
 
 00:57:22.014 --> 00:57:23.516
 because it is a point of vulnerability,
 
 00:57:24.195 --> 00:57:25.657
 and you see that someone's
 
 00:57:25.677 --> 00:57:26.476
 true colors or they're not
 
 00:57:26.577 --> 00:57:27.496
 able to meet you there,
 
 00:57:27.737 --> 00:57:30.038
 then it's obviously a move on.
 
 00:57:30.797 --> 00:57:31.958
 But if they are...
 
 00:57:33.960 --> 00:57:35.699
 That is profoundly even
 
 00:57:35.920 --> 00:57:38.101
 deeper of a recipe or
 
 00:57:38.141 --> 00:57:40.543
 ingredient to create deeper trust.
 
 00:57:40.682 --> 00:57:42.222
 When you can lean in and
 
 00:57:42.262 --> 00:57:42.864
 share something that was
 
 00:57:42.903 --> 00:57:44.623
 vulnerable and challenging and they go,
 
 00:57:44.764 --> 00:57:46.224
 oh my gosh, I had no idea.
 
 00:57:46.585 --> 00:57:48.146
 How can we fix this container for you?
 
 00:57:48.786 --> 00:57:50.086
 And we welcome that as
 
 00:57:50.106 --> 00:57:51.146
 healers and professionals.
 
 00:57:51.407 --> 00:57:52.708
 We want you to say that.
 
 00:57:53.148 --> 00:57:53.427
 Yeah.
 
 00:57:53.507 --> 00:57:54.809
 And we want to help that.
 
 00:57:55.128 --> 00:57:56.750
 Because some people are worried like, oh,
 
 00:57:56.769 --> 00:57:59.150
 my gosh, I don't want to offend them.
 
 00:57:59.231 --> 00:57:59.952
 That's right.
 
 00:58:00.992 --> 00:58:01.431
 Yeah.
 
 00:58:02.512 --> 00:58:02.793
 Yeah.
 
 00:58:02.833 --> 00:58:04.094
 And even if they are,
 
 00:58:04.273 --> 00:58:06.375
 even if they pretend that they're not,
 
 00:58:06.894 --> 00:58:09.356
 the heart is usually there of, oh,
 
 00:58:09.376 --> 00:58:11.117
 my gosh, let me shift this for you.
 
 00:58:11.137 --> 00:58:11.737
 That's beautiful.
 
 00:58:12.518 --> 00:58:13.559
 Well, thank you, Sarah.
 
 00:58:14.119 --> 00:58:14.860
 I love this.
 
 00:58:14.900 --> 00:58:15.860
 This is so good.
 
 00:58:16.561 --> 00:58:17.402
 Thank you so much.
 
 00:58:17.882 --> 00:58:19.983
 I am very excited to have
 
 00:58:20.003 --> 00:58:21.244
 this episode go live and
 
 00:58:21.304 --> 00:58:22.666
 everyone to listen in.
 
 00:58:23.045 --> 00:58:23.726
 But again, everyone,
 
 00:58:23.766 --> 00:58:25.027
 if you have any other questions,
 
 00:58:25.068 --> 00:58:25.987
 if you want to work with Sarah,
 
 00:58:26.007 --> 00:58:26.869
 learn more about her,
 
 00:58:27.268 --> 00:58:28.010
 all of her information is
 
 00:58:28.030 --> 00:58:28.869
 in the show notes.
 
 00:58:29.690 --> 00:58:30.831
 If you have any questions, again,
 
 00:58:30.851 --> 00:58:32.152
 if you love this episode,
 
 00:58:32.233 --> 00:58:33.293
 if you want to learn more
 
 00:58:33.333 --> 00:58:34.253
 about this stuff, again,
 
 00:58:34.273 --> 00:58:35.856
 keep sending us your topics.
 
 00:58:36.315 --> 00:58:37.097
 Give us a review.
 
 00:58:37.117 --> 00:58:38.478
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 00:58:38.498 --> 00:58:39.958
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 00:58:39.998 --> 00:58:41.340
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 00:58:41.400 --> 00:58:44.121
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 00:58:44.541 --> 00:58:45.422
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 00:58:45.443 --> 00:58:46.202
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 00:58:46.242 --> 00:58:47.264
 listening and tuning in.
 
 00:58:47.344 --> 00:58:49.425
 And be well until next time, my friends.
 
 00:58:50.005 --> 00:58:50.405
 Bye.
 
 00:58:50.867 --> 00:58:52.288
 Thank you for listening to
 
 00:58:52.307 --> 00:58:54.811
 the Mind Body Detox podcast.
 
 00:58:55.210 --> 00:58:56.793
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 00:58:57.072 --> 00:58:58.333
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 00:58:58.393 --> 00:58:59.295
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 00:58:59.795 --> 00:59:01.336
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 00:59:07.583 --> 00:59:09.003
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 00:59:09.043 --> 00:59:10.306
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 00:59:10.326 --> 00:59:11.626
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